26th September 2016
Plus 12 and damp when driving in.
Now that was a good result.
Sonneofpresenting won well at Market Rasen on Saturday.. It was the first time that he has had his ground.. Poor chap has been battling all summer with over watered or rain infested ground!
It was fine jumping display from him and David Bass looked to be thoroughly enjoying his rde.
Jason Maguire and Mat Nicholls had a good day there and were regally entertained by Chairman Bud Booth.. We will miss him when he goes.
Bud also looked after my 5 to follow competition winner Julie Greenwood and Ian Dicks.. Their winning prize was a stay at The Wheatsheaf and lunch with the Chairman in the directors room for Saturdays racing.. what a day they had.
My day seemed to be spent mostly on the M6.. What a ghastly road it has become .. The drive to Haydock took far too long. Forgotten Hero ran well for a long way but the tacky ground found out his stamina limitations.. he will be back over 2 furlongs shorted next time.
It was not a good weekend for my assistant Mat. Sunday afternoon for Mat was spent in the vodfone shop in Cheltenham sorting his mobile out.. Dropping a phone in the bath while texting is bad enough but exchanging rude messages with one of our KBRP members was even worse..This picture says it all!!
Monday morning and fresh horses. No runners today.
Ed Bailey was in to ride out one lot before heding to College
Ben Thompson who has just come back from a holiday in the USA sent this one over..
Three Toronto surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed..
One of them said,"I'm the best surgeon in Ontario. In my favourite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident. I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen
The second surgeon said… "That's nothing!..... A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident and I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in track and field events in the Olympics.
The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a man was high on cocaine and marijuana and he rode a horse head-on into a train travelling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the man's blonde hair and the horse's arse. I was able to put them together and now he's running for President of the U.S.A!"
24th September 2016
Plus 13 and dry when driving in.
David Bass was in for a couple of lots.. we were slightly late pulling out first lot as Ed Cookson over slept.. in London! I am sure even Ed was in awe of this mornings sky while flying down the motorway.... Stunning.. Sky I mean.
John Perriss called in second lot to see his horses By The Boardwalk, Champagne To Go, Dueling Banjos, Rocky's Treasure, Sugar Loaf Sholto, The Drinkymeister and Penny's horses Queer Times and Milan Express.
Penny Perriss is still in the Horton Hospital waiting to come out.. all being well early next week.. Penny is very much ready to come home!
Sam and Nick Hopkins, Paul and Nicola Freeman, Matt and Coralie Obrey, Julia Thorburn and David Hird, Bob Simpson, Jo Maltby and Stuart Lumsden were here second lot for a 'morning on the gallops and breakfast' as booked through CD Tours.
Philip and Sandra Arkwight were here third lot to see their horses Texas Forever and Diva Reconce, their KBRP horses Chateau Robin and Our Belle Amie and their Racing For Maggies charity horses Another Venture and Biscuit.
Sue Tagg, Mel Pyman and Derek Booth called in third lot to see Mel and Sue's KBRP horses Our Belle Amie and Chateau Robin.
David and Ruth Simkins called in to see Grand March.. David has just bought a quater share in this well handicapped horse.. One leg still for sale..
Middlesex won the Country Cricket Championship late last night. Very odd day.
Colm Murphy who trained such good horses as Brave Inca and Big Zeb is about to give up training. Financial reasons. Very sad, but even sadder as it gives you some idea of the state of Irish Jump racing. Too top heavy?
We had supper with Martin and Tania Chisholm last night.. Have a look at his Cars..
We have two runners today, Forgotten Hero runs at Haydock on the flat while Sonneofpresenting runs at Market Rasen over fences.. As TNDGB says.. Mix and Match!! Anyway for my thoughts on their respective chances please click here.
For all you golfers out ther .. of a certain age..
An old man, who plays a round of golf with his pals each week, has just purchased a new pair of glasses.
At the first hole, he sinks a 30' putt! His friends are amazed. Again, on the 2nd and 3rd green, he completes equally difficult shots.
''Hey, Harry'', one friend asks, ''what's your secret? You've never played so well.''
''Well guys, its these new bifocals. I see a small ball and a big ball. I hit the large one, and the rest is history.''
A few holes later, Harry needs to relieve himself so off into the woods he trots. When he returns, his trousers are drenched.
''What happened Harry?''
Harry, in confused voice, ''I reached in and looked down, I saw a big one and a little one. I knew the big one wasn't mine, so I put it back!''
Have a great weekend and see you on Monday..
23rd September 2016
Plus 3 and dry when driving in. Yes the first cold morning of the winter.
Today is the last day of summer; well it was a couple of days ago but the English cricket season ends today... so that officially the end of summer.
What a summer it has been for cricket. Pakistan were great opponents and Sri Lanka helped us set out the summers winning streak. The county season comes to a head today with three possible winners. Thats like having 3 drivers on the same points heading to the last grand prix or three jockeys vying for the jockeys championship on the last day of the season. Yes it has been a good summer.
Friday morning and the end of the week. Not that we think that way but our local road system has been a bore at times with road closure due to resurfacing and today, theoretically, it should be finished.
Jockey Tom Bellamy was in for a couple of lots this morning.
Jason Maguire was here first lot to see Paul and Clare Rooney’s horses canter. The Last Samuri, Vital Evidence, Alfies Choice, Red Spinner, Sonneofpresenting, Sainte Ladylime and Thum Stone Blues.
John Stanley was here second lot to see his horse Bandon Roc perform.
Richard and Sheila Mordan and Len and Ann Harvey were here to see their two KBRP horses Blazon and Chateau Robin. Peter Kerr here too.
A vet was in the yard although not Graham Potts as he is away.. Bi weekly vet visit.
I have a great team here and a couple of nights ago they all went go Karting in Gloucester for a night out. Jack Jones was last or the slowest and Mikey Hamill was the fastest,, apparently..Anyway it was good to see them having fun outside working hours.
Henry Kimbell who runs the Racing For Maggies charity partnership had his own form of celebrations last night when his wife Bella delivered a stunning (his words) baby. Tabitha Eliza who weighed in at 8lb 6oz arrived at 2.29am..Well done to Henry and Bella...and of course Tabby.
Talking Maggies Charity we do have a few shares left in this fun charity partnership .. Two stunning horses Another Venture and Biscuit.. Perhaps a call to Henry (07979522744) would be a good idea? If not you can always call me.
Andrew Bengough sent this over.. Not sure if he was the model? Click here to see.
22nd September 2016
Plus 13 and dry when driving in.
It was not to be but we had a great day .. Win or lose Perth is a fun place to go racing and yesterday it was just that.
By The Boardwalk looked to be running a big race but the ground in places was far too soft for him.
BTBW, who has to go right handed, has had wind issues in the past and has had operations to help but sadly soft ground catches him out in his wind.
The ’drying' conditions had not dried enough and bizarrely a shower of rain would have helped. Anyway he ran well but not well enough.
Having said that his owner John Perriss and I had a thoroughly enjoyable days racing.
Sam Morshead was signing his book and many of his mates were up to celebrate the fact. Racing Through Life was flying off the shelves and Sam was exhausted signing so many copies.
Brough Scott said a few words to announce the book launch and Nigel T-D and his sister Penelope, Sam and I had our photo taken reading the book..
Lunch with Cornelius Lysaght was full of news and as a result the day flew past.. Our journey back Glasgow airport was anything but.. We arrived just in time to catch our flight to Birmingham and then home.
That's Perth done for another season.. We will be back there next April, God willing.
Thursday is our easy day for those horses who worked yesterday but today we took 4 to Lambourn; Red Spinner, Silver Eagle, Gaelic Myth and Monkhouse all had an away day.
One of the reasons why I buy on line from John Lewis is for their service.. My lap top died on me last week and being still under their 3 year warranty they replaced it with a newer and smarter model. It arrived yesterday which gave Kerry something extra to do.... Setting it up, so that I can turn it on.
We were upgraded yesterday with our hire car to a Mercedes....
Mark Stallard sent this one over..
A pensioner drove his brand new Mercedes to 100 mph, looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him.
He floored it to 140 , then 150, ... then 155, ... Suddenly he thought, "I'm too old for this nonsense !" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.
The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend with my family. If you can give me a good reason that I've never heard before, why you were speeding... I'll let you go."
The Man looked very seriously at the police man, and replied :- "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back." !!!
The Cop left saying, " Have a good day, Sir "..... :
21st September 2016
Plus 12 and dry when driving in.
A winner. Patsys Castle won well at Warwick yesterday.
I have to admit that I drove to Warwick hardly believing their ground description of good and good to soft.
I arrived to find a packed racecourse with a buzzy atmosphere and happy people delighted to be back jump racing.. Most of the hierarchy of the Jockey Club were there, although many of the racecourse committee were elsewhere.
The course looked in tremendous condition and the ground was perfect. Well done to Jane Hedley and her team, the ground was as described..a great start to their new season.. .
And a great start to our new season too.
Patsys Castle who was dire over fences and was thrilled to be back over hurdles.
Jockey David Bass was his usual positive and happy self and rode accordingly.
PC won well and will probably now be clobbered by the handicapper.
A great result for his owner Phil Moorby and Kathy Wadsworth who had flown over from Gibraltar to watch PC run.
Yes a thoroughly good day was had by all.
David Bass was in this morning to ride work as was Richie McLernon. We worked many and a video of some of the horses working can be seen here.
I left early doors to head to Scotland and one of my favourite Racecourses. Perth. John Perriss and I left from Birmingham to Glasgow and hope to have a fun day.
Sam Morshead is signing his book so I am expecting a bit of flack. Racing Through Life..Indeed..
We go as we have one runner. By The Boardwalk won this race last year and we are keen to keep the Trophy. For my thoughts on his chances please click here.
As good as it gets ...
"As good as this bar is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow , there's a wee place called McTavish's where the landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink."
"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."
"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said Paddy Sheehan, the Irishman. "Back home in me favourite pub in Galway, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you get laid, all on the house!"
The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims. "Did this actually happen to you?"
"Not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister quite a few times."
20th September 2016
Plus 12 and dry when driving in.
Jockey Tom Bellamy was in for a couple of lots this morning
Martyn and Elaine Booth called in third lot to see their horse Mr Brinkley.
Phil Moorby also called in on his way to Warwick. Phil’s Patsy’s Castle runs there this afternoon.
Graham Potts our vet was in for his biweekly visit.
This weeks movers and shakers in the weekly BHA handicap charts are unlikely to affect us as we had no runners last week.
Don't forget to enter our in house 5 to follow competition.. Always a fun competition and the winners prize is a stay and supper at our much celebrated local Inn.. The Wheatsheaf Inn in Northleach.. award winning Inn..
We have one runner this afternoon at Warwick. For my thoughts on Patsys Castle's chances please click here..
After yesterdays shocker..
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.
The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything
else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour."
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.
As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I enquire what the turkey did?"
19th September 2016
Plus 13 and dry when driving in.
Two of Jump racings big boys had their open days yesterday.
Nicky Henderson and Gordon Elliott. England and Ireland.
Huge strings of top class horses and both trying to be Champion trainers, but both have Willie Mullins to contend with.
Newmarket opened its doors to the general public over the weekend and good for them as the viruses they have all suffered down there have really caused a headache or two.
Monday morning and fresh horses.
Bill Foylan was here third lot.
John Perriss dropped off the very fragile Duke Of Atholl Challenge Cup which his horse By The Boardwalk won at Perth last year.. It goes back tomorrow and we hope to try and win it back on Wednesday!
Mrs B is away for a couple of days doing here first aid course. Clare is our yard first aider.
Daren Fisher sent this one over.. Not ideal for a Monday morning I fear..
A couple love to play golf together, but neither of them have been playing like they want to lately, and so they decide that it might be an idea if they took private lessons.
The husband is the first one to have a lesson.
After the instructor sees his swing, he moans loudly, "No no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard!"
"Well, what should I do?" the man asks.
"You need to hold the club gently," the golf pro replied. "Hold the club just like you would hold your wife's breast."
So the man takes the advice that the instructor gave him, takes a swing, and KERPOW! He hits the ball and it flies almost 300 yards straight up the fairway.
The man is delightd, and goes back to his wife with the good news.
His wife can't wait for her lesson, which just happens to be the very next day.
The golf pro watches the wife take her swing, and just as before he says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard."
"What can I do?" asks the wife meekly.
"You need to hold the club gently, just like you would hold hold your husband's willie".
The wife listens very carefully to the instructor's advice, then takes a swing, and THUMP. The ball goes straight down the fairway, landing about 15 feet from where she stood.
"That was great," the instructor says with a straight face. "Now, take the club out of your mouth and swing it like you're supposed to!"
17th September 2016
Plus 11 and dry when driving in.
It is now well and truly dark when heading to the yard and this morning it felt like summer had gone...Jerseys on.
David Bass was in for a couple of lots this morning and we worked a few.
The first visitors of the season from CD Tours this morning. Most Saturdays from now on we seem to have people here. Good to show those who enjoy racing what happens at home.
Todays guests were Russ and Ty Hughes, Allesley, Becky and Robert Floyd, Allyson, Sheila and Ian Lupton, Steve Martin and finally Edmund Keating who came all the way from Ireland
Peter Kerr here too..
Matt Lambert was here third lot to see his two horses Trojan Star and Cascaye perform. Also here at the same time were Michael and Gerry Worcester who called in to see their two horses Coco des Champ and Shaluna.
Marmite.. I love it..
Great news that Matt Chapman has been picked to join ITV.. Matt will annoy possibly, but at least he will make it fun. Matt is no fool and is bloody good at his job. I am a huge fan.
I agree with most of the ITV choices but still amazed that Nick Luck has so far missed out..
As Sunblazer was a non runner yesterday at rain soaked Newbury, Clare and I snuck off for a afternoons fishing on the Wye. No mobile reception there which is most peaceful! No fish either..
No runners over the weekend.
This one was sent over by Ian and Jenny.. (Glenford)
A man goes into a bar and orders seven shots of Tequilla and one beer chaser.
The barman lines up seven shots and goes to get the beer.
When he comes back with the beer only moments later, all seven shots were gone.
The barman says, ‘’Wow! You sure drank those fast’’
The man explains, ''You'd drink fast too if you had what I have''
The barman asks, ''What do you have?’’
The man reaches into his pockets and says, ''One pound fifty''
Have a great weekend and see you on Monday..
16th September 2016
Plus 16 and dry when driving in.
Dry here but not at Newbury where the heavens opened last night (74mm) and the racecourse ground has gone from good to firm to Heavy with a 7.30 inspection.
Our intended runner Sunblazer will not be going as he wants it rattling! Bugger…
If racing does go ahead Nick Clark will be pleased as today is his companies HHandC annual sponsorship.
The Haynes, Hanson and Clark Condition Stakes. Haynes, Hanson and Clark are Newbury’s longest serving Flat race sponsors and Newbury has been told that it will only stop when Nick Clark has passed on..many years to come then..
Apparently Barry Hills is Nick Clark’s most loyal client.. I too use Nick for his wine is excellent.
David Bass was in this morning for 3 lots and with Mikey Hamill, Fionn Summers and Henry Morshead we jumped many on the all weather over hurdles . Pictures but no video later..
David Bass is now riding out here on three mornings a week which is good news. Graham Potts our vet is now coming in twice a week and along with Tuesday he now appears on Fridays.
We sent out our latest newsletter yesterday and in it I mentioned that if you would like a copy of our open day brochure please let me know and I will pop one in the post.....
Frikkie ou Appels se baas
Frikkie works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.
His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a localstrip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Frikkie! How ya doin?'
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
'Oh no,' says Frikkie. 'He's in my bowling league.
When they are seated, a waitress asks Frikkie if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?'
'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club
I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.'
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Frikkie, starts to rub herself all over him and says,
‘Hi Frikkie. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'
Frikkie 's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club
Frikkie follows and spots her getting into a cab
Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
Frikkie tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it .
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.
The cabby turns around and says,
'Geez , Frikkie you picked up a real b*itch this time..
Frikkie's funeral will be on Sunday...
15th September 2016
Plus 13 and dry when driving in.
Sandown was quiet yesterday.
David and Julie Martin hosted a table for The Racehorse Sanctuary Charity race day. A good cause as we all love our horses.
Barry Hills who was also on our table bought a helicopter trip, although I am not sure he will take it.
I thought about buying a morning on the gallops followed by breakfast in Lambourn with Oliver Sherwood (to watch my own horses?) but he became far too pricey.
Julie Martin bought a holiday in a rather lovely villa in Mauritius. Holidays sorted as David said.. Charbel's coming season was much discussed during lunch. Dreaming..
A fun day at Sandown with no runners and we hardly ventured out of the air conditioned suite..Plenty raised for the charity which was the aim.
Thursday is our easy day and it is for those who worked yesterday.
Rio and more medals. Team GB's Paralympians have matched their London 2012 tally.. some feat..
Very sorry to read that Caroline Keevil has decided to stop training. Sadly again it shows that running a small yard is not an easy one financially.
Husband & Wife Play Best Ball..
A husband reluctantly agreed to play in the couples' alternate shot tournament at his club.
He teed off on the first hole, a par four, and blistered a drive 300 yards down the middle of the fairway.
Upon reaching the ball, the husband said to his wife, "Just hit it toward the green, anywhere around there will be fine."
The wife proceeded to shank the ball deep into the woods.
Undaunted, the husband said "That's OK, Sweetheart" and spent the full five minutes looking for the ball. He found it just in time, but in a horrible position.
He played the shot of his life to get the ball within two feet of the hole. He told his wife to knock the ball in.
His wife then proceeded to knock the ball off the green and into a bunker.
Still maintaining composure, the husband summoned all of his skill and holed the shot from the bunker.
He took the ball out of the hole and while walking off the green, put his arm around his wife and calmly said, "Honey, that was a bogey five and that's OK, but we're not going to win this thing with bogies".
To which she replied, "Listen asshole, don't bitch at me, Only 2 of those 5 shots were mine."
Talking small trainers.... Happy birthday to Willie Mullins...