Baileys Blog

Racing News

25th February 2017

Plus 7 and drizzling when driving in.

Wet last night. The only thing that was wet was the wine we had for supper late last night. It was with a smile that we sat down, having watched the replays, with a steak on the plate after all my phone calls good and bad.

Matt Lambert went home very happy from Exeter when his mare Cascaye overturned a 1-10 on shot. David Bass was equally pleased as he did not expect that one. Cascaye is finally coming to hand, but she is still a big bay with huge ears!

Sainte Ladylime looked like pulling off the double but two from home (when upsides in front)she suddenly stumbled a few strides after landing and gave her young jockey Henry Morshead absolutely no chance of staying in the saddle.

Poor Sainte Ladylime is collecting some very unfortunate form figures and much underserved ones too.

Aunty Ann who ran in the same race found the pace of the race a bit much and was pulled up by Tom Bellamy. She needs to go back to a longer trip.

Over at Warwick I saddled Chateau Robin to finish second.. A better effort from this KBRP horse although he was beaten miles.

The mares bumper confirmed the promise Diva Reconce had been showing at home when she scooted up. Very happy owners.

It was the first winner I have trained for Nanette Sellars and Philip and Sandra Arkwright. I was simply delighted for them as they have been perhaps the most unlucky owners in the yard ..You cannot believe some of the things that have gone wrong for them.. It was a much deserved win and there were tears of joy from a hotel room in Dubai where  the Arkwright’s are staying.

Saturday morning and Knockanrawley left here for Newcastle at 5.30.

Todays CD Tours .. We were joined by Ian and Jackie Newby, Robert and Lorraine Hully,  Mike Haywood, Mary and Brian McDonnell and Noel and Sile Morgan for a morning on the gallops and breakfast.

Sean & Fiona O'Driscoll and Simon Williams called in second lot to see their KBRP horse Monrocco.

We have three runners today and two tomorrow. For my thoughts on all their chances please click here.

A young woman started work in the small village chemist shop.

She was very shy about having to sell condoms to the public, but the Chemist was going on holiday for a couple of days, and asked if she would be willing to run the shop on her own.

She had to confide in him her worries about selling condoms.

"Look" he said. "My regular customers don't ask for condoms; they either ask for a 310 (small); a 320 (medium); or a 330 (large). The word condom is never mentioned”.

The first day was fine, but on the second day a large man came into the shop, put out his hand and said "350" please. The girl panicked.

She phoned the Chemist on his mobile and told him of her predicament.

"Go back in and check if he has a bucket hanging between his legs," her boss told her.

She peeped through the door, and saw the bucket hanging between the guy's legs. "Yes!" she shouted down the phone. "He's got one hanging there!”

The boss replied, "Well, go back in there and give him £3.50 ...he's the window cleaner!

Have a great weekend and see you Monday..

24th February 2017

Plus 2 and dry when driving in.

Yes I was able to drive in but yesterday afternoon I was not.

Trees were down around here on all roads making travelling difficult.

My schooling ground was certainly battered with ‘wings’ doing what they should and that was fly and the solid hurdles were blown over .. These hurdles took 3 people to put them back upright. Yes they are heavy but they obviously became light headed when they met a attractive lady called Doris..

I thought Huntingdon were asking for trouble by not believing the weather forecast.

Huntingdon Racecourse if you have never been there is very open and flat. Any sort of wind blows hard there and Storm Doris was always going to be dangerous.

Leigh Pollard and my two horses arrived and no sooner than they had unboxed the meeting was called  off.

Leigh said her drive back here after was the most frightening she had ever done.. Thankfully they arrived home safely.. eventually. Sadly their owners now face a bill for transport and stable staff expenses.

The Cheltenham preview season has started in earnest and however hard I try to avoid doing any, I always succumb to Sam Pearman’s pleadings to do one with the two well known RUK presenters Nick Luck and Jonathan Neesom at The Wheatsheaf on the Monday night before the festival. Mat Nicholls always helps out, because he remains sensible.

It is actually a fun night out and always fully booked..It is not a panel but a Mark Your Card Evening or better described as a chat and mickey take night out.. More interesting…

Tom Bellamy was in this morning for a couple of lots before heading to Exeter to ride Aunty Ann..

Ken Uzzell was here for a morning on the gallops and breakfast as booked through CD Tours

Steve Winter brought his mother Margaret over third lot this morning to see his horse Derrintogher Bliss and his two KBRP horses Younevercall and Silver Kayf.

We have 5 runners at 2 meetings today, Exeter and Warwick. For my thoughts on their respective chances please click here.

The young priest...

The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, 'You had a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theatre seats. It worked like a charm. The front of the church always fills first now.'

The young priest nodded, and the old priest continued, 'And you told me adding a little more beat to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that Rock 'n Roll Gospel Choir. Now our services are consistently packed to the balcony.'

'Thank you, Father,' answered the young priest. 'I am pleased that you are open to the New Ideas of Youth.'

'All of these ideas have been well and good,' said the elderly priest, 'But I'm afraid you've gone too far with the Drive-thru Confessional.'

'But Father,' protested the young priest, 'my confessions and the donations have nearly doubled since I began that!

'Yes,' replied the elderly priest, 'and I appreciate that.... But the flashing neon sign, "Toot 'n Tell or Go to Hell" cannot stay on the church roof.'

23rd February 2017

Plus 9 and drizzling when driving in.

It was also blowing a fair wind and the odd bit of tree had fallen on the roads. More later when Storm Doris hits us?

What a funny old world Racehorse ownership is. Last season John Perriss had his best with 12 winners and this winter/season it has been very much the other way around..moderate to say the least.

Luckily John has been in this game for long enough to know that things change and when they do you smile, enjoy and celebrate.

24 hours is a long or even a short time in anybody’s life but to have 2 winners in 24 hours is certainly good news. The Drinkymeister on Tuesday at Wetherby was followed up by Rockys Treasure yesterday at Doncaster ..

Rockys Treasure was actually pretty impressive, especially when you consider that he pulled hard for most of the 3 miles.

John drove home a very happy man and so was Agent Murphy who bought both horses for John.

Finally on Rockys Treasure it is always good to hear from those who sold you their horses. Thanks David Kiely for the message..we like him too..

Our other runner at Doncaster did not run as expected. Beyond Supremacy showed his immaturity by kicking two other runners at the start and then completely missing the break when one of the horses who he had kicked got his own back by baulking him when the tapes went up, which meant that Beyond Supremacy missed the break and completely lost his place. It was a wasted run as he finished well down the filed.. He will be sharper next time.

At Ludlow Alfies Choice again ran with promise to finish 5th  and should now be allowed a handicap mark now while Milord ran a far better race and enjoyed his day out to finish 3rd.

Winners make for a happy trainer so I took Mrs B out for supper.. We visited a restaurant that we have not been to before and it was good.. I recommended as visit to Bhoomi

Thursday is our easy day although we had hoped to take Diamond Gait, Monrocco, The Midnight Legend Gelding and El Presente on an away day but I have cancelled the trip due to the possibility of ever strengthening winds… One wonders if Huntingdon will be on?

Tom Lacey who lives west of here text me early to say the wind was so strong that he could not open his bedroom door.. Had his roof gone or does living on top of a hill mean it is very drafty?

If racing does go ahead we have two runners at Huntingdon and for my thoughts on their respective chances please click here.

No good deed goes unpunished!

The Post Office
 
There was a man who worked for the Post Office, whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.

One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting, to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.
 
The letter read:
 
Dear God,

I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small  pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment.

Next Sunday is my birthday, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope...

Can you please help me?

Yours Sincerely, Edna

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.

The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

The birthday came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.

All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read:

Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.

By the way, there was £4 missing.  I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.

Sincerely, Edna

22nd February 2017

Plus 10 and dry when driving in.

I have never really understood why blinkers, visors or sheepskin cheek pieces (known as Fench Blinkers) should sometimes make such a huge difference to a horses performance, but they certainly can do.

Yesterday I possibly had a lesson on why they do on some horses when Thedrinkymeister became a completely different horse to one we saw about two weeks ago at Sedgefield where he never went a yard and pulled up; he was lifeless, unwilling or just plainly hated Sedgefield.

Yesterday was his second trip to Wetherby and last time he won well there and that was the first time he wore sheepskin cheek pieces; yesterday the visor was added and he did what he did again last time and won well.

Was it the visor or was it the fact that he actually enjoys running around Wetherby? Either way he had happy owners (John Perriss), trainer and for a change a smiling jockey (David Bass) after..

I have to say Wetherby has been a lucky course for us as we have a great strike rate there … over 30%.. Our other two runners Milan Express and Our Belle Amie both finished second and ran great races.

Yes it is a good racecourse for horses although as owners John Perriss tries to avoided the curled up sandwiches left over from the last meeting in the Owners and trainers room and has taken to meeting either me or Mat in a good little pub just down the road in Walton The Fox and Hounds

David Bass was in this morning for a couple of lots.

John Stanley, Michael Worcester, David Miller,  and Lizzie Wills were here second lot to see their respective horses.. Bandon Roc, Shaluna, Deseray and Un Ace.

We worked a few and jumped The Last Samuri, Knockanrawley, Cascaye, Jupiters Gift, Sainte Ladylime and Dueling Banjos.. A video of the horses working and cantering can be seen here.

We have four runners today. Two at Doncaster and two at Ludlow and for my thoughts on their chances please click here

If you are reading this and looking for a position in racing or fancy a change of scenery, we are looking for one person to join us to work with our horses and ride out. . I will of course tell you it is a fun place to work..

The vacancy has arrived as one of my team has gone North to join the marines. Please get in touch.. 01242890241..I am sure TNDGB will be applying as usual?

Talking of jobs

I called an old school friend and asked what was he doing?

He replied that he is working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment".

I was impressed......

On further inquiring I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water......under his wife's supervision.

To finish .. Happy birhday to one of my team Stevie Broadhouse

21st February 2017

Plus 10 and dry when driving in.

Lingfield really was pretty testing ground yesterday.

Battle Dust failed to enjoy his experience and it is now back to the drawing board with him while Champion Chase finished 3rd,. I am not sure he would have as the horse in front of him fell on the flat when failing to jump a trench/bomb crater when charging the enemy.

Joking of course, but it looked that way as Martabot was going well but turning down the hill he slipped and fell on the flat. Not sure how you can slip when your feet are at least one foot deep into the ground, but perhaps he found a spot that was two feet deep and he failed to get them out of it. Anyway Champion Chase ended up in third which was a better and more encouraging performance.

Charbel and Blazon had an away day this morning. David Bass and Henry Morshead doing the honours. Tom Bellamy was here for two lots..

Graham Potts was here mid morning for his weekly vet visit and this weeks movers and shakers in the BHA handicap charts are… Bandon Roc up 9 to 117, Pulling Power down 2 to 112 and Texas Forever down 1 to 100.

We have three runners at Wetherby and for my thoughts on their chances please click here.

I should be attending a trainers Grand Natonal dinner tonight hosted by Rose Paterson but the last at Wetherby and driving the box forfeits that idea. Nigel Twiston-Davies will represent me...

John Baker needs a word in his ear for calling us trainers rude for talking during the Grand National weights last week.. Imagine if I called my owners rude for talking while parading my horses on my open day.... I might not have many owners left!!?

Lesley Fields sent this over.. A racing story?

Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumour or spread gossip around.

In ancient Greece, Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied, "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

'Triple filter?" asked the acquaintance.

"That's right," Socrates continued, "Before you talk to me about Diogenes let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say.

The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "Actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates, "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, "You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?"

The man was bewildered and ashamed.

This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was shagging his wife.

20th February 2017

Plus 11 and dry when driving in.

Extraordinary weather we are having this winter.. It is likely to be 17 degrees in London later.. Shirts sleeves and shorts!

Neither would have been much good for you yesterday at Ffos Las. The fog was awful and the racing was not great to watch as you could hardly see any. Who cares when you have a winner.

Ben Arthur who ran in the last race won.

Sounds easy but let me tell you it was not. David Bass who last rode BA when he struggled to get out of his own way at Bangor was not sure if he had won.

Always travelling like a winner (that is what David said as we could not see) he arrived at the last and the petrol tank ran dry.. Somehow he managed to wring out a few more drops of petrol and they held on by the shortest of short heads.. Another stride and we were beat!

Happy days for his owners Mark and Melinda Laws who bought this chap at the Goffs (Doncaster) Sales last May after he had won an Irish Point on heavy ground. BA's win yesterday made up for the fact that last time he ran he finished virtually last and we all scratched our chins as to why.. a reason appeared shortly after when he started coughing..

Ffos Las seems to race without me; Penny Perriss mentioned that I always seem to find an excuse not to go there. Yesterday we had a family day with Archie at home as was my daughter Pandora.  A rare visit and a good one too. So sorry Ffos Las we missed you again.

Monday morning and fresh horses.

Richie McLernon was in to ride out a couple of lots.

Andy and Ali Sullen called in third lot to see their horse Aliandy

We have two runners today at Lingfield. For my thoughts on Battle Dust and Champion Chase’s chances (has had a wind op since his last race) please click here

Leighs Blog

A quieter weeks racing last week. 

Warwick last Saturday, an easy day with one in the first. Warwick is only just over an hour away so it was nice to be home and finished by 6.

Exeter Sunday. A nice course with a large yard. I was able to get boxes near the gate between the stables and the course which makes things quicker and easier.

Usually you get allocated stables as you come in filling up the rows so you are never In the same ones twice, but if you have any special needs the staff in the stable office will do their best to accommodate you.

The canteen at Exeter is very good and you get a voucher for a free meal. Their lasagne is one of the best, even if it is not the healthiest due to the extra cheese!!

Towcester on Wednesday, and Bandon Roc completed his treble in 10 days. This horse is a bit of a star. He is so laid back and relaxed about everything, he takes his races well and doesn't get upset before the race. This helps him conserve his energy. It would be difficult to run a stressed horse this many times as they would use up too much energy before and after the race.

Leicester Thursday then Ffos Las yesterday.  We left the yard late morning in glorious sunshine to arrive in Wales in thick fog and drizzle!

I don't think I have ever been to Ffos Las when the weather was nice! Despite that it is a nice course and the stable yard manager always provides a spread of cakes, biscuits and sweets for the stable staff.

Lingfield today, hopefully the M25 will be kind!

This was sent over by John Webber..John has shares in Un Ace and owns half of Robin The Raven with Richard Sheppard.. both of his horses are intended Cheltenham Festival runners.

Paddy gets stopped towing horsebox on the motorway.

The police Officer asks.. ‘’Where are you going?’’

I’m taking these horses to the races’’ replies Paddy.

‘But its empty?’’ said the copper

I know said paddy ‘I’m taking the non runners first!’

To finish..The row with Michael O’Leary over his horses handicapping of this years Grand National horses continues.

I don’t recall him complaining when he had one horse potentially ’well in’ at the weights which won… Ruler Of The World beat another ‘well in’ horse The Last Samuri..

18th February 2017

Plus 4 dry and foggy when driving in.

What a wonderful sport jump racing is. Well I should say racing as a whole..

What an extraordinary man Guy Disney is.

There was not a dry eye in this office as Clare and I watched the race unfold, as I am sure there were not many at Sandown when Guy Disney and Rathlin Rose jumped the last and sailed up that famous hill to win the Royal Artillery Gold Cup yesterday afternoon.

I first met Guy when we arrived here at Thorndale.

Guy’s father John was my doctor and is an occasional fishing companion and when my son Harry broke a bone in his neck in Sydney 9 years ago I rang John for advice.

We discussed Harry's injury and then John came out with the immortal lines .. 'I will help you with your son and in return you can give mine a ride in the Royal Artillery Gold Cup...'

Harry arrived home and has made a full recovery and Guy rode Constantius in the race but fell two from home when he probably would have won…I am not sure John was that happy with me as Guy lay unconscious for about two minutes behind the second last fence.

Moving on..Guy was serving in the Army and shortly after he went back to Afghanistan and well history tells the rest of the story as to what happened next.

When Guy arrived at Selly Oak Hospital in Birmingham I went to see him. Guy's one aim was to ride again and win yesterdays race. An impossible dream (for most) as nobody bar Fergie Sutherland had even attempted to ride in a race without a leg but Fergie did and rode point to point winners.

We gave Guy a ride on Clare's Oshkosh in a charity race at Fakenham where he finished second and the dream was still alive.

Guy persevered and with help from several quarters he persuaded the BHA licensing board that he was safe to ride.. and yesterday was a wonderful result.

Guy you are some man. Tough as teak.. We must not forget that Guy has not only walked to the South and North Poles but has now ridden in and won his dream race.

Guy you deserve ride of the month and racing moment of the year..

To finish Guy.. one star (not forgetting your Mother Fiona) in the family is enough.. but your father is a bloody awful fisherman!!!

Saturday morning and David Bass and Tom Bellamy were for a couple of lots. We worked a few and also jumped a few too.

Second lot we entertained Caddy Vollands, Daniel Lostich, George Firth, Rebecca Creasey, John and Anthony Creasey for a morning on the gallops followed by breakfast as booked through CD Tours.

Liz Humphreys was here to see her KBRP horse Deseray as was Eddie Uzzell; Eddie was also here to see his other KBRP horse Ascotdeux Nellerie.

Keiron, Shane and Ryan Goodard called in to see their two KBRP horses Monrocco and Kayf Storm

Third lot Philip Sale and Karen Waite called in to see their KBRP horse Kayf Storm.

We have no runners today although we do have one at Ffos Las tomorrow. For my thoughts on Ben Arthur's chances please click here.

The Innocence Of Children

A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, I'm Mr.Sugarbrown's daughter.'

Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, 'I'm Jane Sugarbrown.'

The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, 'Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?'

She replied, 'I thought I was, but mother says I'm not.'

Another..

A little girl asked her mother, 'Can I go outside and play with the boys?'

Her mother replied, 'No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough.'

The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?'

On that note have a great weekend and see you on Monday..

Before you go.. Do you enjoy watching football? This penatly shoot out will amuse you.. Spanish football...

17th February 2017

Plus 5 and dry when driving in.

I was not at Leicester yesterday to watch Texas Forever finish 3rd. He ran well but annoyingly he is always finding one or two too good for him. A possible trip back over hurdles until after May 1st now.

Jack Jones who represented me and looked after owner TF’s Nanette Sellars and her daughter Deborah wined and dined them, courtesy of Leicester's new gold star policy of looking after owners. Leicester are improving...

Wined and dined was how Tattersall’s look after their punters at their Cheltenham sales.

Punters and Champagne moments when the world  record was smashed for the sale of an Irish Point to point winner at public auction .. a whopping £480,000.00 for the 4 year old gelding Flemenshill.

It was again a mind blowing sale and Tattersall’s must be thanking their lucky starts that they bought out Brightwells who made this sale what is .. Select and expensive!

With no bloodstock agent with us yesterday.. Aiden Murphy booked his holidays sometime ago and then they changed the January sale date.. He was not alone as neither David Minton or Anthony Bromley were there either.

Anyway that did not deter us as John Perriss, Mat Nicholls and I poured over the catalogue and came home with two new horses. I bought Lot 23 Early Learner on spec.. This mare who won a point to point comes with a fine reputation and should win a bumper.. Yes she is for sale.

John Perris bought Lot 39 Wandrin Star a fine big imposing son of Flemensfirth.

Both horses have gone to Mathew Delahooke’s for a period of isolation and should be back here later next week.. Exciting.

Norman Carter was here second lot this morning to see his KBRP horse Milord and his own two horses Sunblazer and Diamond Gait

Simon and Lara Sweeting who run Overbury Stud and stand the famous Kayf Tara was here third lot with Kay Dewe to see his two fillies that he has leased to KBRP.. Monrocco and Kayf Storm

Len and Ann Harvey with their grandson Peter were also here third lot to see their two KBRP horses Chateau Robin and Blazon.

Mel Pyman and Sue Tagg were also here third lot to see their KBRP horses Our Belle Amie, Chateau Robin and Kayf Storm

Graham Potts our vet was in to test a few of next weeks early runners.

We worked Beyond Supremacy and Diva Reconce this morning and all the rest cantered.

We have no runners today.

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time.

The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.

"He's a funeral director," she answered.

"Interesting," the newsman thought.

He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years.

After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now - in her 80's - a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

16th February 2017

Plus 5 and dry when driving in.

Dry it was certainly not at Towcester yesterday.  The ground was very very tiring but that did not stop Bandon Roc from completing the hat trick of wins in the last 10 days.

I have to say that watching BR start off yesterday he looked like he might struggle as he did not look to be going that well. Young Henry Morshead was slapping him down the shoulder to keep him up with the pace, which was probably too fast for the conditions.

Always jumping well they remained in contention and then 3 from home Henry asked for more and BR answered. They looked like winning then and before we knew it the opposition stopped as they had done too much early on in the ground.. race over.. winning in the end by far too far.. 26 lengths or more..I have to say it was by far the worst race of the three he ran in..not that the handicapper will read this.

Another good win for The WOW Partnership of Russell and Leslie Fields (also breeders), Brian and Linda Cognet, Mark and Marion Hudson, Derek and Deborah Lovelock and John and Sue Stanley..who have all had a 10 day period of huge fun. Horse and owners can now rest for a bit..

John Stanley enjoyed his post race interview with Matt Chapman.. John's son Tom is one of the main RUK team and of course the opposition to ATR..

Pulling Power just could not handle the conditions or rather she could not breath on that Somme like ground. Tough for her and tough for her owners as we had the biggest turn out yesterday.

Just under two weeks ago we had not had a winner for nearly 6 weeks and then since we have had 5.. funny how it suddenly changes.. for the good of course.

Thursday is our easy day .

We have one runner today at Leicester. For my thoughts on Texas Forever’s chances please click here..

I am not heading to one of my 'favourite' racecourses today as I am looking at horses at the Cheltenham Tattersall’s sales. The sale starts at 1.30 and I will be there most of the morning looking at the horses.. Hope to add one .. who knows as they will be expensive..

A young man named Donald bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day.

The next day, the farmer drove up to Donald's house and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse has died.”

Donald replied, “Well, then just give me my money back.”

The farmer said, “Can’t do that, son. I've spent it already.”

Donald said, “Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.”

The farmer asked, “What ya gonna do with him?”

Donald said, “I’m going to raffle him off.”

The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead horse!”

Donald said, “Sure I can, Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”

A month later, the farmer met up with Donald and asked, “What happened with that dead horse?”

Donald said, “I raffled him off. I sold 5000 tickets at five dollars a piece at the local rodeo and made a profit of $24995”

The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?”

Donald said, “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his five dollars back.”

Donald is now living in the White House.

15th February 2017

Plus 10 and dry when waking in London this morning

A long night in town.. always fun.

The Last Samuri was allotted 11.5 for this years Randox Health Grand National..

The V&A Museum was a good venue although the ecoustics were terrible... We trainers have been spoilt by the Grand National sponsors over the years as we have been to places I would not normally have visited.

Back home this morning David Bass was in and we worked a few. A video can be seen here courtesy of Peter Kerr who runs all my Partnerships. Voice over by Mat Nicholls..

Doug and Sylvia Wilks were here third lot to see their KBRP horses Silver Kayf and Ascotdeux Nellerie.

Michael, Alison, Charlie & Tom McLaren were here third lot to see their KBRP horse to see Monrocco.

Bill Foylan has taken the whole day off to enjoy his visit to see his horse Grand March.. Recovering from the delights of Valentines Day I believe?

We have two runners today at Towcester. For my thoughts on their respective chances please click here.

A policeman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix..

The doctors operated and advised him that all was well, however, the policeman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch.

Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors hadn't told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital
gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.

Taped firmly across his pubic hair and private parts were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily --- if at all.

Written on the tape in large black letters was the sentence, "Get well soon, from the nurse in the Ford Focus you gave a speeding ticket to last week."

Kind of brings tears to your eyes doesn't it?