Baileys Blog

Plus 13 and damp when driving in. Now raining..

Newbury Racecourse is finally moving to the future. Their new saddling boxes are great and the new owners and trainers area will be the same when it is opened up in a couple of months time.. Yes Newbury at last is moving forward.

Sunblazer ran his customary honest race but the competition was too hot for him.

Jamie Spencer who rode him said the ground, which was officially good, was too soft for him and he wants further.. Fine we know that but the poor little horse, who last won on the grass some years ago when rated 74, has been playing around in the late 80 and early 90s for some time just because of his success and preference for sand.

Tough for him and tough for his owner.. Races are hard to find and hopefully after Saturday's run he will drop back further to the low 80s and who knows one day the late 70s might come along, and then he will be winning again.

Guy Disney was here last week to ride out.. He was hoping for a ride in Merano.. he secured his ride... I warned him that he would fall in love with that stunning racecourse, even if some of the fences were huge.

Yes Guy did love it..

I have only been to Merano once and that was many years ago when we ran Dockland Express (finished 3rd) and I have to say it was a stunning trip.. probably the best days racing outside this country.. One for the bucket list for racing fans of racecourse's to see before you die.

Mat Nichols ran his half marathon yesterday in 2 hours 18 minutes.. Mrs B was most unimpressed as she did hers in under 2 hours.. Sorry Mat .. Yes still a good effort and good money raised for worthwhile cause.

Sea Story should arrive here later. A new horse and new owners.

To my ever-loving wife,

During the past year I have attempted to seduce you 365 times. I succeeded 36 times. This averages once every ten days; there follows a list of excuses made on the unsuccessful occasions:

We will wake the children                                   7
It's too hot                                                            15
It's too cold                                                            3
Too tired                                                               19
It's too late                                                            16
It's too early                                                            9
Pretending to sleep                                             33
Neighbours will hear - window open                3
Your back ached                                                   16
Toothache                                                               2
Headache                                                               26
Giggling fit                                                              2
I've had too much                                                   4
Not in the mood                                                   21
The baby is crying                                                18
Watched late show                                                 7
Watched early show                                              5
Mudpack on                                                         12
Grease on face                                                       6
Reading Sunday paper                                        10
You are too drunk                                                 9
We have visitors in the spare room                   7
Your parents are staying                                      5
My parents are staying                                         5
Is that all you ever think about                       105

Do you think you could improve our record in the coming year?

You ever loving husband.

Happy birthdays today to Charles Egerton and Di Haine

Plus 12 and damp when driving in

David Bass was in this morning for a couple of lots along with Tom Bellamy.. Other jockeys in.. Archie Bailey..

My taxi service was useful for David yesterday although I failed to turn the meter on when driving him home; I dropped him off at his home near Swindon on my way to Newbury..not even a coin was put in my hand as a form of appreciation!

Barbara and John Fielding, Graham Smith, Pat Sedgley and Dick Ferguson were all here for 'A Morning on the gallops followed by breakfast' as booked through CD Tours..

Kieran Goddard was here to see his KBRP horses Monrocco and Kayf Storm while Shane Francis was here to see their KBRP horse Monrocco.

Dean Perkins who is a member of Imperial Racing was here to see his horse Imperial Aura.

Ian and Pam Farnsworth were here third lot their KBRP horses Knockanrawley and Silver Kayf.

Fourth lot we had a visit from the Racing For Maggies team who own Another Venture and Bisccuit and The Two Timers who own King Simba.. Both partnerships are run by Henry Kimbell.

The Racing For Maggies team..Philip and Sandra Arkwright, Geoff and Carol Bailey, Kate Beim, Atty and Celia Beor Roberts, George and Cynthia Dowty, Christine Dye, Michael and Rosie Fetherstone-Dilke, John and Veronica Full, John and Laura Garrett, Sue Humphries, Simon and Helen Polito, Jo Sherrard, Janie Tate and Rosemary Wilcox.

The Two Timers team were Simon and Sue Ellen, Bella Kimbell, Colin Wigmore.. Both partnerships then went to lunch locally at The Kilkeney.

I was not able to join then for lunch as I headed to Newbury where Sunblazer runs.

For my thoughts on Sunblazer's chances please click here.

Pest Control..

A woman was having a passionate affair with an Irish inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.

'Quick,'  said the woman to the lover, 'into the closet!' and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.

The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet.  'Who are you?' he asked him.

'I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone,' said the exterminator.

'What are you doing in there?' the husband asked.

'I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths,' the man replied.

'And where are your clothes?' asked the husband.

The man looked down at himself and said, 'Those little bastards!

Have a great weekend and see you on Monday..

Plus 2 and dry when driving in. A cold start autumnal.

David Bass was in this morning and many to jump..

We jumped Abbreviate, Alfies Choice, Aliandy, Another Venture, Ben Arthur, Blazon, Braw Angus, Cascaye, Champagne To Go, Champion Chase, Chateau Robin, Cresswell Legend, Doctor Haze, Dueling Banjos, Dusty Peral,  El Presente, Glenforde, Involve, Lake Field, Milord, Mon Palois, Monrocco, Our Belle Amie, Red River, Rhaegar, Robin The Raven, Rockys Treasure, Sainte Ladylime, Silver Kayf, Station Master, Texas Forever, Thibault, Thumb Stone Blues and Vinndication.  A video of the session can be seen here and be warned not all horses will be photographed!

John Perriss was here first lot to watch his horses jump and Darren Smith was here to see his KBRP horses do the same

Newbury Racecourse hosts their longest running sponsors again today. The Haynes Hanson and Clark Condition Stakes.. HH&C first started sponsoring this race in 1981.. now that deserves buying a case of wine off them?

New Version of the The 3 Bears..A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning....

Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table.

He looks into his small bowl.  It is empty.

'Who's been eating my  porridge?' he squeaks.

Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair.He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty.

'Who's been eating my porridge?!?' he roars.

Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, 'How many times do I have to go through this with you idiots?

It was Mummy Bear who got up first.

It was Mummy Bear who woke everyone in the house. 

It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee.

It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away..

It was Mummy Bear who swept the floor in the kitchen.

It was Mummy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch The newspaper and croissants.

It was Mummy Bear who set the damn table.

'It was Mummy Bear who walked the bloody dog, cleaned the cat's litter tray, gave them their food, and refilled their water.

'And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-arses downstairs and grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence.

Listen carefully, because I'm only going to say this  once....

'I  HAVEN'T MADE THE F***ING  PORRIDGE  YET

Dont forget your in house 5 to follow entry..

To finish.. Happy Birthdays to jockey Tom Bellamy and ex trainer Mary Reveley..

Plus 13 and wet when driving in. Yes it was raining.

Sandown was quiet yesterday and that was probably not surprising, but The Racehorse Sanctuary lunch was also quiet which was certainly not predictable..

Our lunch hosts and event wine sponsors David and Julie Martin, plus their home team, were unable to make it to Sandown at the last minute due to low mist over Heathrow.. No they were not flying Ryanair but the end product was that Mat and I were joined by their bloodstock agent Jill Lamb and we had the table to ourselves. David and Julie were much missed.

Colin Brown hosted the day and as usual was amusing and his auction skills were again evident as he raised a considerable amount of money for the Charity through the 12 lots. David Ray, who is a patron of the charity, as is Julie, was certainly doing his bit to help.. It was a good event and the Charity benefited.

This morning I was over in Lambourn early to watch By The Boardwalk and Robin The Raven work. Both are due to run next week. John Perriss who owns BTBW was with me to watch.

Mark and Melinda Laws called in at breakfast time to see their horse Ben Arthur and their KBRP horse Knockanrawley.. They were heading up the road to a Million In Mind open morning.

Peter and Fiona Woodhall called in late morning to see their KBRP horses Knockanrawley, Chateau Robin, Dusty Pearl and Involve.

More bad news in Racing Headlines.

The Tote is to close their tills on all but two racecourses.. Well put it another way Betfred who bought the Tote are removing their involvement next July when their exclusive deal to operate the Tote expires.. Then to cap it they are withdrawing £6million of sponsorship..Not good news and for those who were anti bookmakers owning the Tote when it came up for sale in 2011 who must be saying to the Government and BHA.. I told you so…

The BHA have now given Suzi Best a license to train now that her husband Jim is banned. Jim is not allowed to have any say in the yard and not allowed to go racing. Past records of those banned have only improved their yards by this arrangement and I don't see much difference here. Jim apparently is going to learn to be a hairdresser…

Not saying what Janny Evans sent over was appropriate.... but..

After 7 years of medical training and hard work, a very good friend of mine has been struck off after one minor indiscretion.

He slept with one of his patients (they were good friends) and can now no longer work in the profession he loves.

What a waste of time, effort, training and money. A genuine nice guy and a brilliant vet.

Plus 11 and dry when driving in.

David Bass was in this morning to ride out a few lots..(horses).. Plenty to work.

Our impromptu jumping session ruffled a few feathers yesterday as it was not planned..

Stable jockey had more important things to do(?!)...David Bass was on a driving course (he is out of practice due to the fact that he is currently half way though his 3 months driving ban) with one of Ben Pauling’s owners so he was not here, but having had rain on Monday night the grass was in perfect condition.. so we decided yesterday morning to get on with things as conditions were right. Anyway I am pleased to say we survived the day without DB.. Just!

Two bits of news hit the racing pages yesterday and the one about Stephen and Michael McConville were banned for 3 years over an alleged doping of their horse at Cheltenham was not good news for the sport.

Cobalt has arrived in Ireland and England if this case is to be believed..It was in the injection Heamo 15 which is used as a tonic if a horse is under a cloud health wise and has a withdrawal period..

All in all, as often in these cases it was something that should not have been given so close to a race, but more importantly, we as trainers (or staff) are not allowed to give anything to a horse without permission from the racecourse and that means glycerine which is a common way of lubricating a horses tongues and throats. Rules broken and authority has been stamped..

The second one was the fact that Tattersalls Irelands yearling sales again topped all records.. The 200K barrier was broken for the first time twice…. Go back to June and the Derby Sales at the same venue the 200K was not a big price for a 3 year old unbroken jumper..

Mat and I are at Sandown this afternoon.. Julie Martin is a patron of The Racehorse Sanctuary and she is hosting a table at their main fund raising Chairty day and we are invited…

Sadly Clare could not join us as she is also hosting a HFT charity meeting.. It is always this day.

I took a few more horse photos last night to try and catch up on the horses in training page..

Two videos for you to enjoy. Firstly I took this one last night at evening stables. Click to watch.

Nick Cook who co owns Younevercall and stands for hours in the middle of a cricket pitch wagging his finger all summer sent this one over.. Click here to watch.

Happy birthday to Jeremy Scott.. A nice guy from the West country.

Plus 10 and dry when driving in.

Billy Elliott ran as expected yesterday at Worcester.. Hopefully he will now qualify for a handicap mark which could make life a little easier for him. Good to see his owners Les Garside Beattie and Nikki Heath back at Worcester

Worcester was not that busy but I did bump into Gary Liptrot who has been a regular joke sender...

Tom Bellamy was in this morning for a couple of lots as was amateur jockey Guy Disney.

We had our first schooling morning of the season on grass this morning.

We jumped Abbreviate, Blazon, By The Boardwalk, Champagne To Go, Champion Chase, Cresswell Legend, Derrintogher Bliss, Dusty Pearl, El Presente, Gallery Exhibition, Milord, Mon Palois, Monrocco, Our Belle Amie, Red Spinner, Robin The Raven, Silver Kayf, Sonneofpresenting, Silver Kayf, Station Master, Thumb Stoner Blue, and Trojan Star. A video of this morning's session can be watched here.

Robert Bellamy was in third and fourth lot to ride out and he brought along Eric the head groundsman at Stratford Racecourse along with Matthew, Peter and Jeanette..to watch him ride?

Graham Potts our vet was in for his Tuesday visit and this weeks mover or shaker in the weeks BHA handicap charts was Derrintogher Bliss who went down 3 to 122.

No runners.. Well there is one trying to.. My Assistant Mat Nicholls is running in a half marathon this weekend for charity.. Mat is part of a family team called 'Regional Behaviour' and they are desperate for sponsorship so if you could help please click this link..

Todays joke was sent over by jockey Tom Bellamy…

Mick and Paddy are in class when Mrs Kennedy says "right boys today's word we are going to focus on is 'Contagious'. I want both of you to put it into a sentence for me."

The boys are both sat with their hands up eager to be the first to say their sentence.

"Right Mick you go first." Says Mrs Kennedy.

"My brother Johnny has got chicken pox and my mammy says don't touch him as they're very contagious" says Mick.

"Very good Mick, go on then Paddy try and beat that".

Paddy stands up and says "well miss, my mammy says my daddy isn't allowed to mow the grass anymore because it takes the contagious!"

Plus 9 and dry when driving in.

Monday morning..

Norman and Zoe Carter, son Tim and girlfriend Carly were here second lot to see Norman's horses Sunblazer and Diamond Gait and his KBRP horse Milord. Kerry cooked us all a fine breakfast..

It was a very good St Leger. Capri a good winner in an old fashioned tussle; it was a good result for this old race and racing as a whole.

Lewis Hamilton won a chaotic Singapore Grand Prix.. A bit like having the first 3 in the betting in the Cheltenham Gold Cup fall at the first.. two from the same stable and one bringing the other down. Ferrari’s two drivers hit each other at the first corner.

The West Indians beat England in the T20 blast on Saturday night. I needed a Whiskey Mac just to watch it at home. God it looked cold!!

Sad to see that Geoff Wragg has died. A great trainer and a lovely man. 87

These headlines rather stumped me… ‘’I'm totally speechless  .... Mr Bass is beyond AMAZING’’

''Mr Bass didn't want to miss out on the celebrations so he had a cheeky sip of Pol Roger Champagne''

Still in shock I read on.. It was not my teetotal stable jockey David who was the subject of the conversation... it was the horse Mr Bass ridden by Laura Collett who finished second at the Blenheim Horse Trials.

We have a runner this afternoon at lovely Worcester. Billy Elliott runs and David Bass rides...for my thoughts on their chances please click here.

A young woman brought her fiancé home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother told her father to find out about the young man. The father invited the fiancé to his study for a talk.

"So, what are your plans?" the father asked the young man.

"I am a biblical scholar," he replied.

"A biblical scholar, hmmm?" the father said. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in?"

"I will study," the young man replied, "and God will provide for us."

"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asked the father.

"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replied, "God will provide for us."

"And children?" asked the father. "How will you support children?"

"Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replied the fiancé.

The conversation proceeded like this, and each time the father questioned, the young idealist insisted that God would provide.

Later, the mother asked, "How did it go, honey?"

The father answered, "He has no job and no plans, and he thinks I'm God."

Happy birthdays to Champion flat jockey Ryan Moore, who won his first St Leger on Saturday, and one of Irish racings greatest characters Mick O'Toole

Plus 6 and dry when driving in.

Jockeys David Bass and Tom Bellamy were in this morning.. Yes Saturday is a work morning and we are ramping up the horses work load. Many working. We also jumped Abbreviate and Champion Chase over fences

Our first visit of the winter from CD Tours.. Lesley and Graham Leech and Paul Turner were all here for 'A morning on the gallops followed by breakfast'.... I hope they enjoyed their morning..sadly Les Hartridge and Ron North failed to make it...a footnote..I am glad to see that my web site is more upto date than CD Tours's...

John and Seve Benson  were here third lot to see their KBRP horses Vinndication, Our Belle Amie, Chateau Robin and Silver Kayf.

Jonathan Herbert, who used to work for the Gloucester Echo was here fourth lot to see his KBRP horse Kayf Storm.

Early this morning Winx did it again.. The Australian super mare made it 20 wins on the trot.

A new horse to the yard..Imperial Aura.. Our first horse for Imperial Racing arrives from Ireland tomorrow; Imperial Aura has been pre trained by Kevin Ross.  Ian Robinson who set up and runs Imperial Racing is best know for owning, through Friends of the North, the famous Gold Gup winner Imperial Commander.

The front page of todays Racing Post..Not sure A.O'B would approve.. thankfully it is not Movember...?

Essex did win the Specsavers County Championship yesterday..Well done them .. Talking cricket a T20 blast tonight at Durham.. England v West Indies.. Winter woollies required to watch live I fear.. Will it be the coldest series on record?

John Sweeney sent these over..

12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio

1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice.. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew..'

5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god !! What have I just said??'

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this.. '

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'

Plus 7 and dry when driving in.

Nothing ever goes smoothly all the time.. Bedding.. Straw.. Problem..

It has been a difficult year for cereal farmers as this years harvest has been so wet; as a result we are struggling to find decent clean and dust free wheat straw to bed our horses down on for the coming winter.

Hutsbys who normally supply us are struggling to find any, so if anybody reading this has a large barn full of good quality wheat, barley or even rye straw please get in touch asap...We use roughly 25 large bales a week..Failing to find any will probably mean that we will have to change our bedding next week..

If that was not a good way to start the morning then try a 90 minute appointment with the dentist.. Dribbles later I fear..

Graham Potts our vet was in this morning.. scoping a few..

My old county of Essex look like winning the Specsavers County Championship for the first time in 25 years.. A very fine and much deserved feat..Just in case you wanted to know..One of their top players and ex captain James Foster is a relation of mine...

The value of a #2 Pencil..

Carol was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping in class. 'Tell me Carol, who created the universe?'

When Carol didn't stir, but little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.

'God Almighty!' shouted Carol.

The Nun said, 'Very good' and continued teaching her class....

A little later the Nun asked Carol, 'Who is our Lord and Savior?'

But Carol didn't stir from her slumber.  Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck her in the butt.

'Jesus Christ !!!' shouted Carol.

And the Nun once again said, 'Very good,' and Carol fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question....'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'

Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Carol jumped up and shouted, 'If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'

The nun fainted.

To finish .. Happy birthday to Irish Champion trainer Willie Mullins.. 61 today.

Plus 8 and dry when driving in.

Thursday is our quieter day for the horses having worked yesterday.

Tim Bevan from 2020 signs came up late morning to discuss some new signs for the yard and the end of the drive.

Brian Harding won The Leger Legends race yesterday at Doncaster on the Tim Easterby trained Off Art whilst George Duffield finished seventh. Over at Listowel the Kerry National was won again for the second year running by Gordon Elliott for Gigginstown with Potter's Point and Lisa O'Neill. 

Children Are Quick..

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....

TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a goodcook.

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's..
Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.

To finish .. Happy birthday to Jenny Winch. Jenny was secretary while I was based in Lambourn