7th October 2015
Plus 13 and dry when driving in.
David Bass was in for a couple of lots this morning. We worked most and jumped Aliandy, Dueling Banjos, Same Ole Trix, Taras Rainbow, Net Work Rouge, Gold Man, Bonne Fee and Ascotdeux Nellerie. The video of the horses working can be seen here
Ian Berry and Bill Moulding were here for a morning on the gallops followed by breakfast, while Karen Masters was here third lot to see her KBRP horses Knockanrawley and the Black Sam Bellamy filly, who is about to be named.. I cant tell you yet as it has been voted on, although I do know..
Yesterday was unbelievably wet and those hardy Women’s Institute ladies were certainly up for it. They walked up my hill in style and bugger the rain, why should rain ruin a good walk. They seemed to really enjoy their visit, meeting the horses and chatting over a cuppa after. Stoic, resilient and fun they were.. I hope I have the opportunity to entertain them again next year.. I will need to win the Gloucester Trainers Trophy again.. there are I think about 36 trainers in Gloucestershire so competition is strong.
There were many local racing faces at last nights AP McCoy Cheltenham Literary Festival talk including Patrick Bailey who is a part owner in Laval Noir. I feel we missed interviewer Alan Lee who was ill for the evening. Supper before at Prithvi was excellent. That was put in for PB's benefit.
Ali Brown who used to play cricket for Surrey and then Nottinghamshire is now back with Surrey as a coach has asked me to mention that he is about to start cycling from Cornwall to The Oval in aid of The Tom Maynard Trust and The PCA Benevolent Fund. If you would like to support please click here.
We have a couple of runners at Ludlow today. Always a winner Ludlow and I hope I have one too. Both horses were bred by Sandra Steer Fowler and both are leased. For my thoughts on their chances please click here.
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6th October 2015
Plus 15 and dry when driving in. We have had 19 mm of rain over the last 48 hours and I hope we have more today, but not until after mid day as you will find out in a minute.
Mor Brook and Nam Hai popped over to Lambourn this morning. Tom Bellamy rode Mor Brook.
Susannah Dibben and Julia Black were here second lot to see Didntitellya and Viaduct Jack.
Third lot we had 125 member of the Gloucester Women’s Institute here.. Yes 125!
I won the Gloucester Trainers Trophy at Cheltenham last season, which was sponsored by the Gloucester branch of the WI and the prize was WI food hamper, a £300 gift voucher and a visit from their members..
Today was the day and that was the reason why I didn't want it to rain until mid day.. They all walked up the gallops, drank coffee and wandered around the yard meeting the horses and staff. I talked a lot..
I am hugely taken by our local literary festival that Clare and I are back there tonight to listen to AP McCoy talking through his life/book by Alan Lee of the Times. Again it should be interesting. An early supper at Prithvi.
Graham Potts our vet was in for a long visit this morning and the handicapper reassess two of our horses in his weekly re handicapping charts.. Both horses finished second at Chepstow last week and both their handicap ratings went up.. Ballyknock Lad up 5 to 120 and Derrintogher Bliss up 4 to 129.. Hate being second...Sunblazer came down 1lb to 80 on the flat. Hardly very generous?
Dont forget that this is the last full day of chosing 5 horses for our in house '5 to follow'.. closes at mid day tomorrow. Click here if you have not already entered.
THE NICE MAN BECAME IMPATIENT
A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby. The baby wouldn't take it, so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us."
Five minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she said, "Come on, honey. Take it or I'll give it to this nice man here."
A few minutes later, the anxious man blurted out, "Come on kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!
5th October 2015
Plus 13 and drizzling when driving in. Rain on the way; I hope so as we need it badly.
Well done to the Youneverknow Partnership.. Your first winner; first runner..
Younevercall won easily at Uttoxeter yesterday in a race that took no winning; it was a race that was run at such a ridiculously slow pace that Younevercall had to make all and as a result showed his lack of experience. Anyway the Racing Post was impressed enough to make him their eyecatcher of the day.
Forgetting all that, it was a great result for his merry band of owners who all bought in after Younevercall was bought privately by Aiden Murphy and I off Tom Lacey after he failed to make his reserve at Brightwells Cheltenham May sales.
So well done to his owners Allan Snow, Colin Stewart, Mandy Battershall (birthday present from John), Mark Hudson, Steve Winter, Tim Craven, Nick Cook and new boys Steve O’Shaughnessy and Graham Lloyd.
Mentioning Graham Lloyd, I went to the Cheltenham Literary Festival last night to listen to his father David, who along with David Gower, Richard Tomlinson and Michael Atherton talked us through The Worlds Greatest Cricketers. It was a most amusing evening. I sat with two Edwards in Mawle and Gillespie and bumped into Michael Carter.
I went to Huntingdon yesterday where Trojan Star ran better over fences and surely it will not be long before he wins one.
The Arc was a brilliant race. Frankie back to his best on Golden Horn and a great weekend for English racing.. The cannot be said out our Rugby Team.. Bloody disaster.
As we have no runners today or tomorrow I am allowing our free 'in house' 5 to follow to stay open for entries until Wednesday mid day. So if you have not entered you have a couple of days to do so.. Please join as it is a fun and if you win..rewarding...Click here to join.
Birth control for Gramdma..
The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired at her next checkup, the new Doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.
As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescription for birth control Pills..
"Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL Pills?
"Yes, they help me sleep at night."
"Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that that could possibly help you sleep!"
She reached out and patted the young Doctor's knee...."Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old Granddaughter drinks .. . .
And believe me, it definitely helps me sleep at night.
3rd October 2015
Plus 5 and foggy when driving in.
What a delight racing at Ascot is.
Owners are well looked after with a great free lunch, and all stable staff are likewise looked after and given a free lunch. Owners are offered free wine, while stable staff are offered free non alcoholic drinks..
That is the way a racecourse should be run.. Ok they can afford it, but don't all owners trainers and stable staff appreciate it. Most racecourses charge stable staff the same as they do on the racecourse for sandwiches etc..
Anyway Norman Carter and his support crew lunched in style and one of the conversations was about my recent open day.. Marion Hudson said how much she enjoyed it, but admitted that she did not recognise Jason Maguire with his cloths on! We were of course shocked.. Marion meant out of his jockey kit.. I think!.
Sunblazer ran well again, but was just beaten out of a place in the last few strides to finish 5th. His jockey Silvestre de Sousa obviously did not understand my form of the English language as my instructions were to hold him up and pass horses. The only time horses passed Sunblazer was 2 furlongs from home..
Sunblazer has given Norman some real fun days out.. Ascot x2 and York..I have to say the trainer has enjoyed the journey too.
A quick chat and a drink with Kevin Ryan after the last .. He reminded me that he much enjoyed working for me when in Lambourn.. We both agreed on that, but when I asked whether he was staying overnight to race at Ascot again tomorrow he said he was heading home in his plane.. I though from Heathrow but no, he meant his own.. I travelled back in the horsebox.. Flat racing must be more rewarding!!
Busy here this morning. Jockey Richie McLernon was here for two/three lots
Michael Dawson was here for a morning on the gallops and breakfast, as booked through CD Tours. Piers Dibben and 3 mates were here to see Didntitellya work and his mothers Viaduct Jack. Michael Kaye was here to see Flemensmix. John and Veronica Full were here to see their horses A Shade Of Bay, Fizzy Dancer, Ascotdeux Nellerie, Boolavard King and the GSTTKPA charity horses Allez Encore and King Simba.
Third lot David and Julie Martin plus Linda Redmond flew in to see their horses Ballyknock Lad, Bonne Fee, Charbel, Darna and Policy Breech.. They then flew on to Ascot where their Cable Bay runs in the 3.10.
Also here were Norman Carter who called in to see his Sunblazer and Rhianna and then saw his KBRP horses Milord, Silver Eagle, Taras Rainbow and Mor Brook. Mel Pymand and Sue Tagg were here 4th lot to see their KBRP horses The Black Sam Bellamy Filly and Boolavarde King while Margaret Carnell called in to see the Black Sam Bellamy filly too.. yes a busy morning with Clare cooking all morning! Oh Peter Kerr was here too...
The Rugby World Cup hits a climax tonight when Australia and England will slog it out.. Mat Nicholls my assistant has tickets and has taken the weekend off to enjoy!!
We have no runners today although we do have two tomorrow. Younevercall goes to Uttoxeter while Trojan Star goes to Huntingdon. For my thoughts please click here.
No joke today.. Exhausted typing this.
Have a great weekend and I hope Treve wins her third Arc.. that would be some performance.
2nd October 2015
Plus 7 and dry when driving in.
Was it a good day at the office yesterday? Probably not, but if Abbreviate had won then it would have ..
Abbreviate was second beaten a diminishing neck. He was novicey over his hurdles and that cost him the race. He pulled hard early and looked like winning turning for home, but he was very inexperienced and it showed. All in all a good effort and as the Racing Post said, Abbreviate was the horse to take away from yesterday’s card.
Gallery Exhibition made a mistake at the 6th and was never happy after, while Snowmane just can't breath and he will now be retired; so if you are looking for a lovely horse to re home please ring me.. a non racing home please..
Over at Bangor Kilty Caul looked like she needs further and three runs..
I have said it before and will say it again. Warwick under their new management are trying to make their owners' experience better and Andy Clark and Aiden Murphy looked after my Owners Keith and Liz Ellis well while Clare and I were entertained by main sponsors Colliers.
Tom Bellamy was in for a couple of lots. We jumped Trojan Star over fences.
Talking great owners experience I am heading to Ascot today for a days flat racing where they are brilliant at looking after them..
Sunblazer runs in the last and some chap called Silvestre de Sousa rides him.. Frankie was asked, but his agent said no as he had something more important to ride over the weekend, apparently.. Not sure he was impressed by Sunblazer's hurdling form?…Anyway Sunblazer will finally have his ground, but will it make a difference? For my thoughts please click here.
Please don't be offended by this joke which was sent over by somebody who has been here for breakfast recently..
Mary recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home.
Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table.
Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him....
You know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!"
She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said, "Remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!"
Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said, "Remember that diamond ring you promised me? I bought that too, with the insurance money!"
Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, She said, "Remember that blow job I promised you?"
"Well Here it comes."
1st October 2015
Plus 10 and dry when driving in..
It was stunning yesterday afternoon at Chepstow and both horse ran great races, although I was far from happy being second twice!!
Ballyknock Lad was running over hurdles as a pipe opener for his chase debut in 14 days time and we were delighted with his run. He is still learning about racing as he is still running on and off the bridle.. Improving is how I would describe his run.
Derrintogher Bliss jumped like an old handicapper but he ran into a decent horse.. we will beat him on soft ground. It was a cracking run and full of promise.. I was pleased with both horses, although my judgment might change next Tuesday when the handicapper has his say!!
Tom Stanley and Flo Tellwright from Racing UK woke early this morning as they were here just before 7am to film first lot.. Season preview? They chose a good day to come as it is our easy day.. one canter and home.
I am heading to Warwick today as a guest of Un Ace’s part owners John Webber and Richard Sheppard. I know I am in for a long day..
John and Richard’s company are sponsoring the race we run Gallery Exhibition in… The Colliers International Rating Division Handicap Chase..We need to win it?
We actually have 4 runners this afternoon and Abbreviate and Snowmane join Gallery Exhibition there; David Bass rides all three.
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar in Dublin.
She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit and, as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar she asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
The bar went silent as patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!" The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down.
She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"
The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, Paddy, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her the ballerina?"
The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"
30th September 2015
Plus 7 and dry when driving in. Not a cloud in the sky, just the moon and the stars..
Jockeys David Bass, Tom and Archie Bellamy were in for a couple of lots.
We worked many as we do at this time of year on a Wednesday and you can watch the horses working here
We jumped Abbreviate, Snowmane, Kilty Caul, Gallery Exhibition and Trojan Star which can be seen here
David Shuttle was here for a morning on the gallops and breakfast.. In fact David has a share in Fizzy Dancer
Vince Burmingham was here third lot to see his string perform and he bought with him his father Don, Michelle Dudderidge, Cynthia Cox and Barbara Cornwell. Vince has shares in Silver Eagle, Milord, Knockanrawley, Boolavard King (who returned to the yard last night) and Ascotdeux Nellerie. All are partnerships run by Peter Kerr.
Raymond Mould’s funeral at Guiting Power yesterday was packed and so was the party after. Racing, as you would expect, was well represented
Raymond went out partying and we did until late last night. It was a spectacular celebration of his life.
Not sure Aidan Coleman was partying last night, although from all accounts he was lucky not to hurt when 2 men crashed into the weighing room at Southwell and smacked him in the face. Luckily these are rare incidents, but it is serious matter and the 2 men and and 1 woman deserve a hefty fine and ban from all racecourses.
We have a couple of runners this afternoon at Chepstow. Ballyknock Lad and David Bass team up. BL has had a wind operation since his last run and win at Chepstow and Derrintogher Bliss takes to fences for the first time with Tom Bellamy aboard. For my thoughts please click here.
Graham Potts our vet was in for his weekly visit a day late..
An Australian, an Irishman and an Englishman were sitting in a bar. There was only one other person in the bar. It was a man.
The three men kept looking at this other man, for he seemed terribly familiar. They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him before, when suddenly the Irishman cried out 'My God, I know who that man is. It's Jesus!'
The others looked again and, sure enough, it was Jesus himself, sitting alone at a table.
The Irishman calls out, 'Hey! You!!! Are you Jesus?'
The man looks over at him, smiles a small smile and nods his head. Yes, I am Jesus' he says.
The Irishman calls the bartender over and says to him 'I'd like you to give Jesus over there a pint of Guinness from me.' So the bartender pours Jesus a Guinness and takes it over to his table Jesus looks over, raises his glass, smiles thank you and drinks
The Englishman then calls out, 'Errr, excuse me Sir but would you be Jesus?'
Jesus smiles and says, 'Yes, I am Jesus.'
The Englishman beckons the bartender and tells him to send over a Pint of Newcastle Brown Ale for Jesus This the bartender duly does.
As before, Jesus accepts the drink and smiles over at the men.
Then the Australian calls out, 'Oi, you! D'ya reckon you're Jesus, or what?'
Jesus nods and says, 'Yes, I am Jesus.'
The Australian is mighty impressed and has the bartender send over Pot of Victoria Bitter for Jesus, this he accepts with pleasure.
Some time later, after finishing the drinks, Jesus leaves his seat and approaches the three men.
He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement. Oh God, the arthritis is gone,' he says. 'The arthritis I've had for years is gone. It's a miracle!
Jesus then shakes the hand of the Englishman, thanking him for the Newcastle Brown Ale. Upon letting go, the Englishman's eyes widen in shock. By Jove', he exclaims, 'The migraine I've had for over 40 years is completely gone. Its a Miracle!'
Jesus then approaches the Australian, who has a terrified look on his face.
The Aussie whispers.'Push off mate, I'm on Workers Comp'
29th September 2015
Plus 8 and dry when driving in. Another stunning autumnal day ahead.
Young Archie Bellamy (younger brother to Tom) had the chance to ride out three lots this morning as did Conor Shoemark; Henry Morshead was here for one.
Henry Kimbell who runs the GSTTKPA Charity horses was here second lot to see his two horses King Simba and Allez Encore perform up the gallops. Henry has three shares left in his partnership for sale, so please be tempted..
Steve O’Shaughnessy (Umpire) was also here to see his horse Younevercall; this is Steve’s first venture into racehorse ownership and he looks like having his first runner with his horse this weekend.
John Perriss was also here to see his last weeks Perth Winner By The Boardwalk and his other horses Dueling Banjos, Emily Gray, Molly’s A Diva and The Drinkymeister.
All enjoyed breakfast after, cooked by Kerry.
Their new garden storage shed which was locked, with a padlock, was broken into somewhere between the hours of 7.30 and 10.45pm tonight. George went to double lock the shed at 10.45 and found the items missing.
Padlock was cut through and smashed off the door.
Currently they are using the shed as a store whilst doing building works. Two road bikes, disc cutters, garden strimmer, drills etc… all portable had been stolen. The road bikes were under a second locking system in the shed but this lock was also cut through.
The road bikes have a high value and are red with white lettering- Specialist model (ladies bike- this bike is also labelled with Cynthia’s name) and white - Focus model (mens bike) The disc cutter is orange with yellow lettering.
George is a cycling semi pro and regularly tours Europe and races..old peoples!!
Raymond Mould's funeral later today at Guiting Power.. There will be a huge turn out.
This weeks movers and shakers in the handicap charts are…By The Boardwalk up 11 to 131, West End up 7 to 114, Crazy Jack up 2 to 125, Trojan Star down 3 to 107 while Milord re enters at 119.
These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins!)
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum.(USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
To end the day on good news.. Jason and Lauren Maguire have a new bay girl..Sire, Dam and filly all doing well.
28th September 2015
Plus 10 and dry when driving in. A red sky.
It has been a red weekend.
The moon went red, as did my temper when our burglar alarm went off early this morning.. We had not even set it. It woke many in the village although Archie managed to sleep through it!
All my Welsh owners should be very happy this morning.
How on earth did England manage to lose that game.. I watched a late recording with Giles Wilson, Jeremy Block, Liam Botham and Casper Shand Kydd.. no comment!
Henry Morshead was here this morning to ride out one lot before heading back to school. Henry is Sam’s youngest and a well known pony jockey, who wants to be as good, if not better, than his father when he becomes a fully fledged jockey.
Racing plans could change this week with the weather settling to being dry and warm. Yes it was warm enough for lunch outside yesterday.
Australia becomes an important country to beat this week..A bit of their humour for a Monday morning
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney, can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
There will be a few more tomorrow...
Dont forget to enter our 5 to follow. It closes in a weeks time.. Click here to enter
26th September 2015
Plus 4 and dry up here in Duns..
Another winner yesterday, at dreaded Worcester.
Crazy Jack did the business in the lucky last which was good news for the May We Never Be found Out Partnership and David Bass..
Not such good news for Net Work Rouge who earlier in the day was nearly brought down and then David Bass took 3 fences to get his stirrup back under his foot.. The race was by then all over.
Trojan Star was hardly good news either as he fluffed it big time .. TS's his owner Matt Lambert rightly said his horse earns more money than he does as TS has won best turned out virtually everytime he has set foot on a racecourse..Money in the wrong pocket.
Matts day was not great day as it took him 5 hours to get to the races and even longer home.. The racecourse had run out of coffee cups so that was his drink ruined too.. It can only get better..
Many worked at home and as I am away today there were no photos..
No runners this weekend.
Norman Carter sent this one over...
Aggie and Daisy two spinster sisters lived together. Aggie became quite ill and before she died she spoke to her sister ..
"Daisy, you know we have lived pure lives, so when I die, I want my headstone to read 'Aggie Smith --- Born a Virgin, Lived a Virgin, Died a Virgin'"
When Aggie died Daisy made the stonemason aware of her sisters wish however he told her that there were simply too many words to be put on the headstone. He said that he would do his best
When Daisy went to see the finished headstone the stonemason said he had complied with her Aggie's wishes as best he could. The headstone read ...
'Aggie Smith --- Return Unopened'
Have a good weekend and see you Monday..