28th August 2015
Plus 11 and dry when driving in.
Friday of a Bank holiday weekend and the weather for the weekend looks like being moderate..
Newton Abbot have abandoned their chase races for next Tuesday as the ground is currently heavy.. Yes it is August.
Ffos Las today is heavy and race after an inspection. New drainage comes into play at Ffos Las soon so the ground should not become as ghastly as it can over the winter..
AP McCoy used to say there was heavy and there was Ffos Las heavy!.
It will be interesting to see if they re drain their paddock while doing the racecourse as in the past the odd person has been ‘lost’ or sunk while watching their horse parade around the paddock.
David Bass, Tom Bellamy and Tom Clarkson were here to ride out a couple of lots this morning.
Tom who is the voice from the pits if you watch Formula One racing has a busy weekend and an important one as his son Patrick takes on Archie in an inaugural cricket match on Monday at Chedworth. There is great excitement about this match.
Last night we had supper with Robert and Jilly Baines (Robert used to own 50% of Dockland Express) and their son Sammy is one of Archie’s team.. Net practice while we had drinks..
Vince hosts an annual charity fete next weekend so if you fancy 'a morning on the gallops' here please get in touch with Vince.. his contact details are all on the flyer on the right and below.
Vince Burmingham firstname.lastname@example.org or 01584 873041
While at York Races last week I bumped into Chris M and he sent this down the line.. it came via a mate down under....
JEWISH LADIES BRAGGING ABOUT THEIR SONS
4 Jewish ladies meet after 30 years at their High School Reunion.
One goes to take food while the other 3 start to talk about how successful their sons became.
No. 1 says her son studied economics, became a banker and is so rich, he gave his best friend a Ferrari.
No. 2 said her son became a pilot, started his own airline became so rich, he gave his best friend a jet.
No. 3 said her son became an engineer, started his own development company became so rich, he built his best friend a castle.
No 4. came back with a plate full of food and asked what the buzz is about.
They told her they were talking about how successful their sons became and asked her about her son.
She said her son is gay and he works in a Gay Bar.
The other three said she must be very disappointed with her son for not becoming successful.
" Oh no !! " said the Lady, he is doing good.
" Last week on his birthday he got a Ferrari, a jet and a castle from three of his boyfriends..."
The other three fainted ....
27th August 2015
Plus 11 and damp when driving in; yes there was a bit of rain overnight.
Jason Maguire was in this morning for a couple of lots. We jumped By The Boardwalk, Bonne Fee, West End and Gold Man over fences.
If you fancy watching Mat's video of West End and Gold Man jumping fences please click here..
David Bass starts race riding again (after his shoulder op) at Stratford in the 3.10 on Royal Irish Hussar; good luck to him.
Kevin Clancy was here second lot to see his two horses The Rainbow Hunter and Crazy Jack.
TRH is very unlikely to be heading to Aintree again this year to run in the Grand National, but will instead concentrate on the veterans series of races.. These are a great idea and encourages the likes of TRH to stay in training.. his other option was to go Hunter Chasing or retire..
Crazy Jack showed good form over hurdles last a season and will start off over hurdles again this time as he is still a novice, which he is not over fences having won twice over the bigger obstacles last winter.
Kevin, who shares his horses with his brother Dermot, sister Mary, Stephen Cannon and RUK's Oli Bell stayed for breakfast.
Third lot Sylvia Dibben called in to see her horse Viaduct Jack. Sylvia shares VJ with Glen and Caroline Swire and Elisabeth Parker-Jervis.
The inaugural Retraining of Racehorses National Championships takes place at Aintree Equestrian Centre this weekend and they have over 350 entries for the 27 different classes. This wonderful series proves that ex racehorses have a life after racing and it is becoming more and more popular. The two day Championship is purely for ex Racehorses.
Di Arbuthnot who is such a driving force behind the surge of this series says there are now 5000 ex racehorses competing in different forms of showing classes.. Great news and well done…..
We have all had this sort of problem at some stage.. Sharing a room with a snorer..
Ian Reid has the answer..
SLEEPING WITH MICK
The first guy slept with Mick and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.
They said, "Man, what happened to you? He said, "Mick snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.
They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!' He said, 'Man, that Mick shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."
The third night was Bill's turn. He was a tanned, older biker, a man's man.. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
"Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Mick into bed, patted him on the arse, and kissed him good night on the lips. Mick sat up and watched me all night."
With age comes wisdom.
26th August 2015
Plus 11 and wet when driving in. It had stopped raining, just.
We have 14mm of water land on us last night.
Tom Bellamy and David Bass were in for two lots this morning.
We worked Abbreviate, Amazing D'Azy, Bonne Fee, By The Boardwalk, Aliandy, Ballyknock Lad, Magic Money and Gold Man
With last nights rain and two jockeys in we also jumped several this morning and they were Abbreviate, Amazing D’Azy, Ascotdeux Nellerie, Bonne Fee, By The Boardwalk, Fizzy Dancer, Flemensmix, Gold Man, Kings Simba, Lady Of Llanarmon, Magic Money, Milord, Monkhouse, Queer Times, Same Ole Trix, The Scarlett Woman, Trojan Star, Viaduct Jack, Widow On The Run and Younevercall.
Richard and Sara Fabian called in third lot to see their horse Ascotdeux Nellerie while Roland Fox, Maurice and Pim Greenaway called in to see Fizzy Dancer.
Yesterday I had a quick lunch with Martin Fetherstone-Godley in The Wheatsheaf.
I have not been inside my favourite hostelry for several months; it has not changed.. A quick plate of devilled kidneys and back to the yard to finish off our Owners Open Day brochure which goes to print today.. Ben Pauling and Henrietta Knight were spied having lunch too.
Colin ‘Bud’ Booth that well known and charismatic Chairman of Market Rasen celebrates his birthday today. Happy Birthday Bud..
Bud has given us a prize for our in house '5(7) to follow' this year.
Lunch for 4 with him (waiting on you) in the directors room at Market Rasen, plus tickets of course.. having been lucky enough to have had lunch with Bud I can tell you it is a most enjoyable day out.. You will also judge the best turned out for at least one race..
Thinking of Bud...
Glen Swire sent this one over...
Sunday Morning Sex
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued,
"He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
25th August 2015
Plus 9 and dry when driving in.
Yesterday was a thoroughly wet and miserable day. 15mm of water landed on us and all day it felt like October not August... Horrid.
Conor Shoemark was in for a couple of lots this morning and due to the rain we were able to jump a few youngsters over tyres. Abbreviate, Aliandy, King Simba, Kilty Caul, Amazing D'Azy, Magic Money, Ascotdeux Nellerie, Faerie Reel and Younevercall
Nicky Van Dijk and Minty Clinch called over third lot to see their Boom Syndicate horse Kilty Caul.
KC is a former Irish pointer we bought off Richie Forrestal at the Cheltenham Brightwells sales in March.
Richie who used to ride for me, before he became a reporter in Ireland, promised that this mare would be successful for us.
We were very happy with her but I made the mistake of running her in a bumper on bottomless ground at Uttoxeter in May.. It was one of those days, like yesterday, when it rained all day and in hindsight she would have been better off in the field..At least we know that heavy ground is not for Kilty Caul.
Graham Potts our vet was in for his weekly vet visit and the handicapper reassessed West End by …? None.. left at 108..Sunblazer also remains on 81 on the flat
Gary Liptrop who also has a share in the Boom Syndicates Kilty Caul sent this one over.
The golf ball and the sand wedge..
A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work and her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom closet. Then the woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, 'Dark in here.'
The man says, 'Yes, it is.'
Boy - 'I have a golf ball.'
Man - 'That's nice.'
Boy - 'Want to buy it?'
Man - 'No, thanks.'
Boy - 'My dad's outside.'
Man - 'OK, how much?'
Boy - '£250'
A few weeks later, it happens again that the boy and the lover, are in the closet together again.
Boy - 'Dark in here..'
Man - 'Yes, it is.'
Boy - 'I have a sand wedge.
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, 'How much?'
Boy - £750'
Man - 'Sold.'
A few days later, the boys father says to the boy, 'Grab your sand wedge and golf ball, let's go outside and have some short game practice. The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my ball and sand wedge, dad.' The father says, 'What?! How much did you sell them for?'
The father says, 'That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is far more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess.'
They go to the church, and the father makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, 'Dark in here.'
The priest says, 'Don't start that again, you little thief, You're in my closet now.
Farming interest.. then look at this as it might interest you
24th August 2015
Plus 11 and damp when driving in.
Thoughts for all those families involved in that awful air crash in Shoreham.
What a weekend? Lewis Hamilton won the Belgium Grand Prix, Jessica Ennis-Hill, Mo Farah and Usain Bolt all won in Beijing, Joe Tuite won the Ebor and we won the Ashes, even though we lost the Oval Test.
We had a glider land in the field just below the schooling ground on Saturday afternoon and when Clare popped over to see and the meet the pilot, he asked if she could drop him off at a local pub as he was hungry.. When passing the Kim Bailey Racing sign at the bottom of the drive he asked Clare.. 'So what does your mother do?'
Sandra and Matt Steer-Fowler were here at 9 this morning as they brought Pulling Power back to Thorndale. PP has done all her road work at home in Devon and returned looking a million dollars and ready to start cantering.
Sandie Wilkinson, who does all my accounts, was back after her week’s holiday in Cornwall… Yes we are creeping back to normal.
Grahame Whateley sent this one over..
THE BRIDGE TO HAWAII
A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, 'because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'
The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'
God replied, 'Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help man kind.'
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.
God replied: 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge....?"
22nd Augst 2015
Plus 16, muggy, overcast and dry when driving in.
Richie McClernon was here for a couple of lots this morning. Richie normally rides out locally for J.J.O’Neill .
We worked Magic Money, Bonne Fee and Amazing D’Azy.
All the rest of the team cantered.
No owners or anybody else here this morning, now that is rarity for a Saturday morning..
Flat racing is lucky to have so many good festival meetings and having been to York this week I can see why it is a must do trip if you are racing fan. Likewise as an owner it is a must have a winner place too.
York yesterday was a jump owners paradise as two of our biggest owners Rich Ricci and Paul and Clare Rooney both had winners.
It has been a strange summer.. We have not had a clear blue sky over the yard during evening stables for several weeks.. how do I know .. Because I have hardly taken any photos of my horses for our web site.
What is even stranger is the Ashes Test series this summer.. What the bloody hell was going on yesterday.. England behaved like Australia did over the last two tests. I can’t recall such a topsy turvey series.
Philip and Sandra Arkwright sent this over to me...
"NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER"
Come all ye fair young maidens and harken unto me,
Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.
Randier than a sailor who's been six months at sea,
Never let a cricketer's hand an inch above your knee.
First let's take the paceman, pure speed from first to last,
My darlings do be careful; his balls are hard and fast.
Then there's the medium pacer, his balls swing either way;
He's really most persistent and can keep it up all day !
And watch for the off-spinner, girls, another awkward chap.
If you leave him half an opening, he will slip one through the gap !
Then there's the wily 'slowy', pure cunning is his strength;
He'll tempt you, then he'll trap you with his very subtle length.
So ladies, do be careful, your mothers would agree.
Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.
And what about the opening bat, his struggles never cease !
He has only one ambition, to spend all day at the crease.
The number three is a dasher, he seldom prods and pokes.
When he goes into action, he has a fine array of strokes..
And do beware the slogger, not content with one or two;
When he arrives at the crease then only six will do.
Then there's the real stonewaller, girls, he knows what he's about;
And if you let him settle in, it's hard to get him out !
We come now to the last man, I hope this will not shock,
He doesn't mind if he's last man in, as long as he gets a knock.
So, darlings, do be careful, and be well warned by me:
Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.
And watch the wicketkeeper, girls, he's full of flair and dash;
And if you raise your heel, he'll whip them off in a flash.
If you take the field with the captain, you had better know the score;
Or he'll have you in positions that you never knew before !
The cricket commentator is a nasty sort of bloke,
He watches all the action and describes it stroke by stroke.
Even the kindly umpire, who looks friendly as a pup;
You'll quickly find you've had it, when he puts his finger up !
So, darlings, please remember and repeat it after me:
"NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER, WHOEVER HE MAY BE !!!!!"
Have a great weekend and see you Monday?
21st August 2015
Plus 17 and dry, although it felt like raining when driving in.
West End was second again at Stratford yesterday.. Bugger!!!
Surprise surprise.. No I was not at Cilla’s funeral yesterday (sounded a wonderful tribute) but I did have a late invitation to The Oval to watch another?
Michael Wills, my brother in law, rang mid morning to say that his guest Charles Frampton had got his dates wrong.. Luckily for me.
I caught the 12 o’clock train from Kingham and watched the afternoon and evening session. Fun, as it was good cricket, even though we have been spoilt.
Australia batted well and the game looks like heading for a draw, although Australia have beaten us before when in this position... That could all change with 3 quick wickets this morning.
Michael and I even found time to chat to Mark Nicholas after the game when he finished on Channel 5.. I have not seen Mark for a couple of years..Mark used to stay with me in Lambourn days.
Anyway back to today.
David Bass was in for a couple of lots this morning.
David rang yesterday thinking I was one of his other trainers.. He was in full flow and try as I might it was hard to get a word in.. I eventually reminded him I was not on the beach in Cornwall.
Golfers in Cornmwall?
He's hopeless he's the only golfer I know who cries "fore" when putting
I love golf, I live golf, I dream golf...if only I could play golf.
Last week I spectacularly missed a hole in one.... By six strokes!
Sunday is the day we bow our heads and pray. Some are praying , some are putting.
A golfer has a big advantage over a fisherman. He doesn't have to produce anything to prove his story.
What do you call a blonde golfer with an IQ of 126... A foursome
A golfer came home in a foul mood. "I only hit two good balls today; and that was when I stood on the rake" .....ouch!
20th August 2015
Plus 15 and drizzling when driving in.
We had a great day at York yesterday.
Norman Carter, Richard Chugg and I arrived on the Knavesmire in plenty of time to savour a fabulous days racing.
York racecourse look after owners well and it was similar to Cheltenham and Haydock as far as an owner experience was concerned. Peter Kerr, who was held up in traffic, joined us for lunch..
We started the day with a bottle of Champagne and we finished the day with another. Why? Because Norman Carter was going to enjoy his ownership day with his recently purchased Sunblazer, and Sunblazer did his bit by running a blinder to finish 6th at 66/1 beaten 8 lengths. Yes in the money.. just
What a stunning racecourse York is; great crowds, fabulous weather and happy faces. Sadly the big race was a bit of an anti climax as Gleneagles did not run and then Golden Horn was beaten.. ground was soft enough for him probably, as it was for Sunblazer.
Gleneagles paraded even though he did not run which was probably a relief for Charles Church the famous equine artist who was there to photograph and sketch him… long way from Dorset to find him a non runner!.
All in all we made it home late last night having had a great days racing and Norman who had given both Richard and I a lift, went on home a happy man.
Ian Dimmer of Martins, the famous jeweller and supplier of Cheltenham racecourse's Trophies, was here seond lot this morning to see the horses on the gallops.
Ian excuse was that he was returning engraved silverware from this year Cheltenham Festival winner Darna and was also returning past silverware now engrave i.e. my Gold Cup and Champion Hurdles trophies which just said 'trainer and the year'.. I have added the horses names to both..
Sue Tagg and Mel Pyman were here third lot to see their KBRP horse Savant Bleu canter while John and Penny Perris was here with Victor and Nicky Lay to see Penny's horses The Scarlett Woman, Queer Times and Widow On The Run canter.
The last Ashes Test start today at The Oval and although we have already won it is going to be a great test.. Come on England put their noses in it!!!
What do you call an Aussie with a bottle of Champagne? A waiter.
What do you call a world-class Australian cricketer? Retired.
What do you call an Australian who can hold a catch? A fisherman.
Why can no-one drink wine in Australia at the moment? They haven't got any openers .
What is the difference between Cinderella and the Aussies? Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.
What does an Australian batsman who is playing in The Ashes have in common with Michael Jackson? They both wore gloves for no apparent reason.
Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone on the Australian cricket team? The woman who irons their cricket whites.
What's the height of optimism? An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen.
What do you call a cricket field full of Australians? A vacant lot.
What's the difference between an Aussie batsman and a Formula 1 car? Nothing! If you blink you'll miss them both
What's the difference between Michael Clarke and a funeral director? A funeral director doesn't keep losing the ashes.
Archie’s pony Polo sadly had to be put down a couple of days ago.
Polo was suffering from a bad breathing problem and the high pollen count this summer had made it almost impossible for her to breath. Her lungs were in a bad way and after trying every sort of ventilator and breathing apparatus we came to that awful decision.
Poor Archie was distraught, as we all were; she was a special pony. 19 years old she had given many children some wonderful moments in her and their life. Polo will be much missed.
Touchingly Chloe and Tyler, who both looked after Polo whenever we were away gave Clare and Archie a bunch of flowers and some chocolates as a form of condolence....Very kind and they hugely appreciated the gesture.
19th August 2015
Plus 10 and dry when driving in.
Dry yes but Thorndale was shrouded in a heavy Scottish type mist
David Bass was here this morning.. It has been a while since our Cheltenham Festival winning jockey was here.
David had an operation on his shoulder which made sure he has had most of the summer away from racing. Now like Jason Maguire he is hungry to be back in action. Good to see you David..
Talking David..David and Julie Martin’s Cheltenham Festival winning horse Darna returned to the yard this morning, along with the exciting Irish dual bumper winner Charbel.
Fitting that Darna and his jockey David Bass returned to the yard on the same day?
I was away early this morning, to York races.
Norman Carter, who owns our runner Sunblazer, met me early this morning to head north.
Norman who lives in Cornwall set off early and it will be a long day for him in the car but one he is so looking forward to. This is why he bought Sunblazer.
We are also picking up Richard Chugg on the way and meeting Peter Kerr at York Races.
What a days racing we are going to see. The Juddmonte International is the most anticipated race for years.. I just hope as we all do that Gleneagles will turn up as to see him take on Derby winner Golden Horn will be some race.
The last Ashes Test starts tomorrow.. Yes I know we have won and it has been great .. I enjoyed this..
Apparently the performance director of the Australian bob sleighteam wants to meet Michael Clarke to see how he managed to go downhill so fast..
18th August 2015
Plus 9 and dry when driving in.
Jockeys Jason Maguire, Tom Bellamy and Martin McIntrye were all here for a couple of lots this morning.
We jumped Trojan Star, West End, Bonne Fee, Kings Opus, By The Boardwalk, Magic Money and Amazing D'Azy over the plastic hurdles on our all weather gallop.
Andrew Huckfield was here for 'a morning on the gallops and breakfast' as purchased through a charity auction.
Helen Hibbert was here third lot to see her horse KBRP horse Milord. Peter Kerr was here too.
Graham Potts our vet was in for his weekly visit.
York starts tomorrow and the biggest clash in racing takes place.
Golden Horn takes on Gleneagles and there are plenty of others in the race that run on merit..
I will also be there as we have a runner.. The last time I was at York was when I was leading a horse up while doing my time in Newmarket working as a lad.. yes hard to believe isn’t it! The lad bit!
I receive many kind remarks about my web site and this one popped over last night from Andrew Lawrence
‘Thanks very much from an expat, love reading your blog & following your horses when I can watch them on the box. Racing not quite the same in Canada.
Good luck to you & your team for another successful season & l'll carry on watching.'
Archie and I played a round of golf locally at Royal Shipton last night. I am struggling!
Three Ladies were playing the fourth hole last night when a naked man wearing a paper bag over his head jumps from the trees and ran across the green.
The three ladies stood in awe at the size of his manhood.
The first lady says, 'That's definitely not my husband.'
The second lady, gazes at his manhood and says, 'He is not mine either.'
After a long time, the third lady finally says, 'He's not even a member of this golf club'