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16th May 2023
Plus 3 and dry when driving in.. There was frost on my windscreen this morning..
John Perriss might have thought his luck had changed after I Spy A Diva's great win at Warwick on Saturday.. But no..
Her half brother I Got Stung, who was due to run in the 7.15 at Southwell last night but was declared a non runner.. unloading from the horsebox he was found to have cut his leg below the protective bandages.. which needed a couple of stitches..
Sods law for John as he gave a near neighbour and friend Melinda Wilson a lift to the races as she had a runner in the 8.15.. So even without a runner John had a good night at Southwell..
Tuesday heralds a vet visit as usual and this weeks movers and shakers in the BHA handicap charts are..I Spy A Diva went up 5 for her win to 130, Lady Of The Night down 4 to 110, Lets Go Amigo up 1 to 96, Sayadam down 2 to 124, Shantou Express down 3 to 122.
A nun was sitting at the airport, waiting for her flight to Chicago.
She looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune and thought to herself, "I'll give it a try and see what it tells me."
She went over to the machine, stepped up on the scale and put her nickel in. Out came a card that read, "You are a nun. You weigh 128 lbs, and you are going to Chicago."
The Nun sat back down and told herself that the machine probably gives the same card to everyone. The more she thught about it, the more curious she got so she decided to try it again. She went back to the machine and again put her nickel in. Out came a card that read: "You are a Nun. You weigh 128 lbs. You are going to Chicago and you are going to play a fiddle."
The Nun says to herself, "I know that is wrong. I have never played a musical instrument even once in my life." She sat back down.
From out of nowhere a cowboy came over and sat down, putting his fiddle case on the seat between them. Without thinking, she opened the cowboy's case, took out the fiddle, and started playing beautiful music.
Surprised at what she had done, she looked over at the machine, thinking "this is incredible. I've got to try this again."
Back to the machine she went, put in another nickel, and another card came out. It read, "You are a Nun. You weigh 128 lbs. You are going to Chicago and you are going to break wind." Now she knows the machine is wrong as she thought to herself "I've never broken wind in public a single time in my life." But getting down off the machine she slipped, and as she was straining to keep herself from falling to the floor, she broke wind.
Absolutely stunned, she sat back down and looked at the machine. She said to herself, "This is truly remarkable. I've got to try this again."
She went back to the machine, put in another nickel, and another card came out. It read, "You are a Nun. You weigh 128 lbs. You have fiddled and farted around and missed your flight to Chicago."