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19th September 2016

Plus 13 and dry when driving in.

Two of Jump racings big boys had their open days yesterday.

Nicky Henderson and Gordon Elliott. England and Ireland.

Huge strings of top class horses and both trying to be Champion trainers, but both have Willie Mullins to contend with.

Newmarket opened its doors to the general public over the weekend and good for them as the viruses they have all suffered down there have really caused a headache or two.

Rio is finally over. The Olympics and Paralympics have been brilliant for record breaking Team GB and great viewing. Clare Balding must be exhausted?

In Tennis we were knocked out of the Davies Cup by Argentina.

Monday morning and fresh horses.

Bill Foylan was here third lot.

John Perriss dropped off the very fragile Duke Of Atholl Challenge Cup which his horse By The Boardwalk won at Perth last year.. It goes back tomorrow and we hope to try and win it back on Wednesday!

Mrs B is away for a couple of days doing here first aid course. Clare is our yard first aider.

Daren Fisher sent this one over.. Not ideal for a Monday morning I fear..

A couple love to play golf together, but neither of them have been playing like they want to lately, and so they decide that it might be an idea if they took private lessons.

The husband is the first one to have a lesson.

After the instructor sees his swing, he moans loudly, "No no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard!"

"Well, what should I do?" the man asks.

"You need to hold the club gently," the golf pro replied. "Hold the club just like you would hold your wife's breast."

So the man takes the advice that the instructor gave him, takes a swing, and KERPOW! He hits the ball and it flies almost 300 yards straight up the fairway.

The man is delightd, and goes back to his wife with the good news.

His wife can't wait for her lesson, which just happens to be the very next day.

The golf pro watches the wife take her swing, and just as before he says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard."

"What can I do?" asks the wife meekly.

"You need to hold the club gently, just like you would hold hold your husband's willie".

The wife listens very carefully to the instructor's advice, then takes a swing, and THUMP. The ball goes straight down the fairway, landing about 15 feet from where she stood.

"That was great," the instructor says with a straight face. "Now, take the club out of your mouth and swing it like you're supposed to!"